Dec 31, Confessions at the closing of the year

I keep seeing all these posts like “all the books I read this year” or “the best of my photography” or “what I have learned this decade” or heaven forbid that “ten-year challenge” photo post that keeps circulating. I don’t want to see the ten-year challenge, because if I am honest I don’t necessarily want to see how old and tired I look. The truth is, ten years ago I had 6-month-old twins in the midst of a bittersweet season. The sweet was the children but the bitter was so much more with complicated relationships and deeply struggling finances that led to the short-sale of our first home. Sometimes you don’t want to peek back into a time or place in your life that you remember had so much heart ache, even along with the joys and the ways that God provided. 

  All these posts by other people just have me wishing I was MORE…more organized, more talented, more on top of business, more on top of parenting…or even the post last week that had me guilty for DAYS for allowing my children to believe in Santa.  I am serious, I questioned whether my decision to allow them to believe in Santa would somehow ruin their faith. Crazy, right? Tell me that’s crazy. But this is the reality of the 24/7 internet culture when we constantly allow for others voices and opinions in our heads.

     Here’s the thing, I daily look around and think I should be doing more…yet I cannot possibly do more than I already do. I see the socks I have washed, the meals I make, the emails I return, the photos I take, the counters I wipe, the kids papers I sign, the homework I help with, the students I taught…and all those countless small tasks that fill up our days. I am here to say, if you find yourself here with me, it’s OK to be right where you are. So I don’t have a beautiful, thoughtful post on what 2019 was or wasn’t to me?!  I don’t have my favorite top ten photos from the year to share with you. I don’t have 5 points on what this year taught me. I don’t have all the miles I ran accounted for or even a solid book list of what I have read (why is using something like Goodreads so hard for me?!). I don’t even have an exact calculation but I have done something like at least 700 loads of laundry in the last 365 days. I have also made countless meals, given countless hugs, prayed countless prayers and stayed steadfast in hope. I really have struggled with consistency in areas that I would love to be more consistent in, even this very blog, for example!

The final month of this year will definitely stay with me. I had a small health scare which jolted me into the realities of what really matters. Don’t worry, I am fine (Praise God!!) but walking through the open doors of a cancer center holding Matt’s hand had a way of laser focusing on what is important in my life. All these roles I play are different ways I use my gifts and fulfill my purpose. These small things I do every day are the things that make up a life. If I get to go greater work, then that’s just icing on the cake. Looking forward to 2020, I know I need to take better care of myself both body and spirit. I can’t allow the “shoulds” of life to dictate my days. 

  A few clear highlights for me of 2019 were some beautiful weddings I was a part of capturing and officiating my first wedding ever in November. I captured many families and even met Joe Biden this year. I can’t say that I have met a Vice President before! A big family highlight was adding a furry family member, Nellie, to our home. Here’s a few favorite images of the kids and the dog from the end of the year session in the woods. Wishing you health and happiness in 2020!

Running Confessions

I do some of my best thinking either in the shower or running....I suspect it's because it's some of the rare moments I am alone to think. I went on my first run in 10 mos yesterday afternoon and I came to a few realizations that I thought might fit into the "confession" category of my life.

1. About one minute into my run I realized that I turn 30 in exactly 7 months! This was the perfect motivation to complete the entire two miles that I set out to run...it's one thing to get old but another entirely to "let yourself go."

2. Running motivation also came yesterday in the form of a nice new adidas running tank top to "hold it all in" - lets just say children and gravity have not been kind! Whatever works girls - if you need to bribe yourself to workout with a cute new workout outfit - do it!

3. I realized that my cardio condition is great, chasing two toddlers, constantly carrying things and running stairs have been good for it. What is not so great is my knees, shins and other bones/joints that are not a fan of all the extra weight I am carrying. I thought of the biggest loser contestants on their first workout and how they must feel....helped me to just keep going.

4. This is probably more of a comment on their standards and not my current appearance but I still got sideways glances from the trashmen, Artesian guy and the Clear Channel dude while running.... or maybe they were just scared of the way my thighs moved as I approached their passing vehicles?

5. Lets just say a little tan goes a LONG way...this definitely applies to the appearance of the aforementioned thighs! Tan helps!

6. When I have quiet moments I get to thinking about my Dad and how towards the end it winded him to even get up and walk across the room or to even try to talk to me on the phone. For those that don't know, he succumbed to lung failure in May due to many years of smoking. As I ran and felt the air push in and our of my healthy lungs I thought of him in better days when he used to be so active. I commit to continuing to run and take care of myself so that my kids won't be standing at my funeral (God willing) at the young age of 29 because I know what that felt like. I know smoking is terribly addictive and a hard life habit to change but if you are addicted please think of the years that you want to spend with your family and let that help you fight it!

7. Even the longest run can be tackled like life's most difficult challenges....simply put one foot in front of the other and pray it through when you need strength!

That's all for now friends but as I continue to get into running again I will probably have some more of these posts..the simple musings that run through my head while putting one foot in front of the other, hoping to drop some pounds, and gain some endurance!

Monday Confessions

MOnday has come again so quickly, the days are passing in blurs of taking care of kids, house, husband and myself. Our days as a family of four are truly numbered and we are not finding ourselves in the easiest of times. We are trying literally to take it one day at a time...so here goes for this week.

1. Kids and I are sick...awesome. At least the kids can get good meds, I can't because I am almost 38 wks prego!

2. I tried a Mc D's strawberry lemonade yesterday, a bit of a let down I must say. Not sure if there's a standard strawberry to lemonade ratio but mine definitely needed some more of the sweet strawberry to round out the tang of the lemon. I will give it a second shot though because I have a coupon for a free one :)

3. We bit the bullet and got a new (to us) stroller yesterday that will work for all 3 kids. We will look like a bus rolling through but if you haven't ever seen a Valco Runabout with the Joey seat..it's pretty cool!

4. I got to see Water for Elephants last week with a few girlfriends. I thought it was a great adaptation of the book, of course there were a few adjustments here and there to make it more "movie" worthy. I have to say, I liked Robert Pattinson as the lead Jacob and Reese Witherspoon as Marlena. They did a great job bringing the story to life!

5. Just for bragging rights, the nine month pregnant woman I am, snuck an entire Friendly's friend-z reeses cup ice cream into the movie theather in my purse. RPatz and reeses ice cream...what else is there?!

6. I had a few great yardsale finds this past weekend - the most exciting was a new desk chair for our home office. I had this cool old chair with "character" that was a curbside find that we have been using for years but it's getting tired. I scored a white Pottery Barn knock off office chair for $5! We put a cushion on it and no one will know the difference!

7. Speaking of curbside finds, I also got a free gently used changing table from a neighbor who was done with it. I absolutely love free! It also happened to match our cradle perfectly and fit into our room where we needed it to.

8. I am missing my dad, keep having the urge to give him a call or send him a text. I find myself reminded all the time lately of just how much he taught me. Even today, I was working on freshening up our "new to us" stroller and had to adjust the tires. The tires are like bike tires with quick releases...dad taught me all about that stuff so I was able to get the tires perfectly lined up and ready to go!

9. My husband revealed to me yesterday that there are two things he really despises - glitter and peeps. Go figure but I will be sure to avoid those around him! He also would never brag on himself but he just finished up a great website design project for an international missions group - New Harvest Missions International. You should not only check out his great design work but check out what Christian churches are up to in West Africa.

10. I am pretty much running on fumes these days...just taking it one thing at a time. Can't believe T3 (the baby) will be here so soon. In the midst of loss and chaos, we still have much to celebrate and be thankful for! Thanks again to all of you who have been supporting us through these trials!

Monday Vacation Confessions

We all know the feeling when you pull into your driveway after a long drive home from vacation...it's a nice mixture of it's good to be home and an awful dread of "back to reality". Even the best vacations always come to an end!

1. Driving over 9 hours 9 months pregnant wasn't great but it was worth the destination! We loved where we got to stay in Emerald Isle, NC.

2. The house we stayed in was actually for sale, only $2.8 million - anyone want to spot me a loan? You can visit of course :) It was beach front, 6 bed/6bath, with a pool on a deck overlooking the ocean.

3. I only used my hairdryer once on vacation..I embrace my natural hair texture in that kind of humidity :)

4.My kids were up every day at 6:30am ready to start the fun! It definitely is a different kind of vacation with toddlers.

5. I pretty much ate a dilly bar from Dairy Queen every day at 3pm....and sometimes repeated at 9pm! I think the dilly bars by the pool had an extra yumminess to them!

6. I read two books, Beachcombers by Nancy Thayer and Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks. (Yes you can read a couple books during naptime hours sitting by the pool). They were definitely both good beach/summer reads. Beachcombers was set in Nantucket and had some great poignant family dynamics. Safe Haven was much more of an intense -don't-want-to-put-down book with some twists and turns. As many of Nicholas Sparks books are, it was set in his native state of North Carolina. I always feel like I need to read one of his books when I am visiting an NC beach, just feels right!

7. I decided it was time to see what all the fuss was about Glee, so I borrowed season one from the library and asked my sis Ashley to get into watching it with me. Needless to say, we were sucked in right away and need to get our hands on season two! Lets hope the library has that one too...

8. We got to NC on the night before Easter, knowing we wouldn't be joining our church families to celebrate Easter we decided to do it a little differently this year. We watched the Passion of the Christ which I must say is extremely powerful. I haven't been able to bring myself to watch it since I saw it in the theater years ago. I think it was the perfect way to remind me of Christ's sacrifice and truly contemplate Easter.

9. My kids absolutely loved every minute of being at the beach with the whole family. Our week was full of precious memories togeteher. I did take a good amount of pics and will post some soon. There were many moments when I found myself just watching and getting a little emotional because I know these memories are already fleeting. M & D are growing so fast. Sometimes when I take a snapshot I know that years down the road I will look at it with longing for these sweet days. (I remind myself of that when the terrible twos rear it's ugly head!). It was also precious to see them experiencing such great love from family - they have great relationships with their grandparents and aunts and uncles. It's wonderful to grow up in such a web of love and support!

10. Last but not least..I am having a baby in 26 days (if all goes according to plan)! holy cow! Coming home to that reality is even more of a wake up call than most post-vacation depressions. It's more like a post-vacation freak out to get ready for number three :) Just taking it one day at a time!

Dean LOVED the ocean, no fear at all (which of course made Mommy nervous!). Daddy loved having a mini-playmate at the beach. Matt even has a small surfboard he is saving to teach the kids on when they're ready :)

Macy loved walking on the sand but it took her some getting used to. I couldn't get enough of her cuteness and pretty much think she was the Coppertone baby come to life :)

For those who have wanted to see some belly pics, Matt offered to take a few our last night at the beach. 
It's funny, I love to take maternity photos but sort of shudder at the idea of getting them taken! Thanks Matt for making me feel pretty despite the triple chin :) 

Monday..time to confess

1. Totally just ate a hot dog with coke for lunch at Costco...hit the spot..remember don't judge me :)

2. Got a free $20 gift card today from target just for creating a baby registry!

3. Ants are attacking at our house, is this happening to anyone else?!

4. I had an amazing experience on Friday being a part of a workshop in NYC with Kamee June Photography. We had a model and stylist with us to create a fun atmosphere to photography on the NYC streets. If you haven't ever been to NYC in spring, you really should go! Trees were in bloom and everything was picturesque. Thanks to NYC Freshman, Gentry, for being our model and to Katrina Kirk for styling. It was a great day of shooting and friends! Plan to blog some shots from the shoot later this week for those who haven't already peeked on facebook!

5. I was suprised beyond belief yesterday when some friends threw me a baby shower for number 3! I REALLY was not expecting a thing because I am having 3 kids in two years and people were already SO generous when the twins came! I was SO TOUCHED and everything was beautiful - the theme of the shower was diapers, which was perfect because we will definitely need them with 3 booties in diapers at once! My awesome aunt tallied and we landed somewhere over 2100 diapers for our family! Thanks friends!

6. We are going on vaction Saturday, I have a ton of work to do but have vacation brain! It dawned on me this morning as I was peeling my eyes open that I now have to pack for this wonderful beach vacation. We are heading south with my hubby & his family for a last little getaway before baby arrives!

And on that note I am going to get back to other photography related tasks while the kids nap, I like to leave for a trip with all those loose ends tied up!

Monday Confessions

Today I will have to keep it "like a midget made out of sugar" - short & sweet!

1. I am swamped in a good way this week, lots of editing and more shoots coming later in the week.

2. Most exciting?! I am going to be a park of workshop in NYC on Friday with the fabulous Kamee, check her out if you haven't! Great west coast photographer heading up a styled wedding shoot in NYC that I get to participate in along with a few friends...REALLY EXCITED! Just imagine me waddling through NYC for this opportunity...praying now for great weather!

3. Still a crazy mom trying to hold it all together. Smack in the middle of reading Don't Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Plowman. It's a good read so far, tying together scripture and discipline. Hope I can learn how to implement it well.

4. Finished Water for Elephants last week, really enjoyed it. There of course was some vulgarity but hey - it's a story about a carnival in the depression..what do you expect?! It had a lot of fun as well as drama...good read and I am ready to watch RPatz & Reese Witherspoon bring it alive on the big screen when it comes out!

5. I broke my own rule today and let my kids play in the sandbox at the park. I usually refer to it as the "litter box" but after trying to chase them in two directions and Dean taking a big spill off a high playground ladder I thought "hey, they might actually stay in the same place for 5 minutes if I let them play in the sand." It worked like a charm and they played for a good 15 to 20 minutes in there!! I was pretty excited about that and had to dump all the sand off them before putting them back in our cleanly vaccuumed swagger wagon :)

Like I said this morning, going to view this week's to-do list as opportunities to do what I love and make a difference...try not to look at everything as an obligation! Happy Monday friends!

Not too late to confess...

You didn't think I forgot did you?! Today was a gorgeous busy Monday so better late than never!

1. I became an aunt today! Trevor Owen-Elder Frey was born today at 11:27am. He was 8lbs and 20 inches long. I got there in time this afternoon to see his first bath and snuggle him a bit. So happy for my big brother & his new family! As much as "Auntie Em" could sound cheesy, I think it has a nice ring to it!

2. Definitely remembered today that it was free iced coffee Monday at Dunkin! French vanilla on the rocks, yum!

3. It was SOOO nice out! The kids and I did lots of outside things like the park, blowing bubbles with our new bubble wands from walmart, taking a walk in the neighborhood...it was super and did I mention that they watched less than 15 minutes of TV all day..this huge since this winter we were stuck in so much!

4. I am busy with editing and all kinds of good business stuff but I took a time-out for some sunshine on my deck while reading Water for Elephants, I am getting close to done!

5. We went to ChickFila kids night tonight on our way home from visiting the new baby. You can't beat free dinner, balloons, a clown and ice cream :) Again..don't mention the nutritional information.

6. I am learning a lot about parenting lately. It can be so joyful and also so stressful a the same time. Having a boy and a girl of the exact same age is interesting, they are so different. I am having to learn how to love, lead, teach, and discipline them. It's a challenge!

7. I am almost 32 weeks with number 3, can't believe in 8 short weeks we will have another little Troutman! really starting to wonder who is in there :)

8. Got to watch the movie Tanlged this weekend, I thought it was cute and my kids enjoyed it. A girl always loves a good fairy tale that ends happy!

9. Kids got to meet the Easter bunny at the mall...Dean loves bunnies and learned a few weeks ago that they "hop.'  As soon as he saw the large bunny at the mall he was screaming and pointing "Hop, Hop, Hop" and couldn't wait to get over there. Of course Easter has a very significant spiritual meaning in our home that really doesn't have to do with a bunny and our children will learn all about that with each passing year. I just enjoyed seeing them smile while encountering this larger than life bunny! Macy liked him a whole lot better when she wasn't on his lap :)

10. Easter Bunny Photo for your enterainment-

Monday Confessions

Remember those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, so I am not tossing any :) Here's a glimpse inside my glass house today...

1. Almost totally forgot about free iced coffee Monday with my little magical card to Dunkin Donuts, must fix this later today!

2. I let my kids run with sticks.

3. Went shopping at DSW this weekend with my mama (she was crowd control for the twins)... I got one pair of shoes for $34.98 and the other for FREE with my $20 coupon! Both are awesome shoes & both were off the clearance rack. I checked the original prices, got $130 worth of shoes for that $34.98 - don't hate on the coupons!

4. Putting clean sheets on a crib is hard enough, try with a  7 month prego belly...comical!

5. I have raised my voice today with my kids...working on that though. I really love when Dean now "tells on himself" - I hear him saying "no, no" when he's doing something he KNOWS he shouldn't...like when he ripped Macy's barette out of her hair and then shoved it in his mouth so I wouldn't see.

6. I used to love my dog, he was my favorite & first baby...now we are more like former best friends who still have to hang out in the same circle of friends but had a falling out. He looks at me longingly like "will you ever love me again"...it's sad really but I am busy keeping barrettes out of mouths!

7. NOT a fan of the Housewives of Miami - anyone with me on this? Just can't get into it.

8. I just started reading Water for Elephants last night, I will let you know how I like it. I hope to see the movie too but I don't know if I can handle Robert Pattinson as anyone other than Edward Cullen...we shall see! (**Jacob - I accidentally typed "Jacob Cullen" - you can tell who I have on the brain..haha)

9. Just got the  Passion album "Here for You" & the Hillsong United's "Aftermath"  -  I am digging both of them. If you need to pick up your spirit a bit, they will both turn your thoughts and hearts towards the things of God.

10. My husband and I had a huge debate yesterday (on the way to church of course) about the usage of helmets on small children. I, of course, as the mother agreed children should definitely wear helmets while riding bikes, skateboarding, and even probably sledding. My argument, why would you ever chance having a child with head trauma?! My husband's argument was something about the government intervening too much in our lives...come again honey?! Love you Matt :) Life's tough, our kids are wearing helmets!

I love me a bargain

So make fun of my coupons ALL you want, they don't call me "coupon queen" for nothing! Want to hear what coupons did for me today? Well lets see, free pair of underwear in Victoria's secret, 30 % off in Gap where I got Macy an adorable spring dress with bloomers for $6.70, a FREE Carters boys summer 2 peice outfit for Deano in JCPenney ($10 JCPenney Cash coupon from mi madre), $10 off in Yankee candle because I needed a new spring sent & a car jar for the swagger wagon... I about broke a sweat today wheeling the twin double trouble stroller around the mall snatching up my bargains. Yes, I did still spend money (some of you like to point that out, thanks Matt) but I was able to do a considerable amount more with the amount I did have. Stretching your dollars with a growing family is a must! And if you saw my twitter last night I am about to get free iced coffee at Dunkin Donuts every Monday from now until April 25th, now if that doesn't deserve the happy dance, what does?!

I won't bore you with my wicked skills at the grocery store or my latest obession with amazon mom but I will also advocate for my good recent craigslist experiences. Two of my recent craigslist purchases turned into "it's a small world party" because both different occasions revealed we have mutual friends. One girl is a neighbor of friends and sold me a lovely unopened box of Huggies Diapers for $10 (this is a $40 box of diaper people!) and then she booked a photo shoot with me - I LOVE IT! Yesterday I had a date to go look at little girls clothing in a nearby neighborhood only to reveal that the mom selling is a good friend of my good friend, we had just never met. I got some GREAT second hand clothes for Macy at a fraction of the price. If you saw her today in her little Nike track suit and pig tails you would never know her whole outfit cost me $3. :)

I say all this to encourage you to try to pinch a penny and find a deal on things that you already need to buy! That's the key...don't just buy to buy...only buy items that are already on your "need" list.

If you are needing any clothing, Gap/OldNavy/BananaRepublic are doing their Give & Get 30% off this weekend! Go here for the coupon! If you are heading to the movies, Regal Cinemas is doing a free small popcorn this weekend!  Coupons are your friend, friend!

Monday Confessions

1. I am right now eating a lunch of leftover tea sandwiches (Go Grandma!) from a baby shower for my soon to be nephew, can't wait to meet him! I am also letting the kids eat while watching a video on the little dvd player.. :)

2. I about had a coronary when I just filled up my gas tank today..even at Wawa prices it was $65 to fill up my swagger wagon. I realize that we are spoiled here in suburban America, I might need to start carpooling to the grocery store!

3. I heard this morning that they are discontinuing Captain Cruch cereal due to it's high sugar content?! FO' REAL?!! Capt' Crunch is a childhood favorite of mine & really...I mean what about Reeses Puffs or Cookie Crunch or the Mini Cinnabon Cereal? One of those HAS to have Capt Crunch beat!

4. I didn't get out of bed until almost 8am today, thanks daylight savings for confusing my children, at least it worked in my favor today.

5. Last week I went a little crazy and decided to redecorate a powder room that I have hated since we moved in over 4 years ago. It was sort of just half done and had no style to it at all! I mostly just shut the door so I didn't have to look at it. We got done the destruction, got one coat of paint on the wall, changed out the cabinet hardware and took down the old mirror and light fixture...then the busy weekend hit. It was ignored and I am going to work this week on getting to a finished project! Will try to post pics of before and after..don't wait to be impressed though, it's just a small spruce up :)

Monday Confessions

1. Today was the dreaded test for a pregnant lady..the glucose test, which involves drinking syrupy orange goop that tastes like a freeze pop gone wrong and then sitting for an hour before getting blood taken. Did I mention that you have to fast before this?! Yes, that might actually be the worst part - a starving pregnant woman.

2. While sitting for an hour in the doc office I was attempting to read a book but I couldn't get into it, instead I listened to the inner office gossip going on and pillaged the waiting room mags for the amazon diaper coupons. Yes, I know I am that serious about good coupons but hey - I left the 15% off baby depot because that would require tearing a page.

3. My husband and his father are contractors, so like most contactors they know the best place in town to get a hot, cheap, fast lunch and in our town..it's Costco. We have started making a weekly date to meet at Costco for lunch with the kids :) Hey 5 of us can eat for less than $10 and they've been there so much now they know my father-in-laws order!

4. I ordered some new sample books and albums last week that I am anxiously awaiting! It will be like Christmas when the FED Ex man arrives!

5. Oh and yes...after said glucose test this morning, I drove directly to Pure Bred Deli and got a hot egg & cheese on a bagel. Nothing like a breakfast sandwich to break the fast :)

6. I confess that I am not a huge matchy matchy person but this was in my inbox from gymboree today & I thought "I would love to photograph a family in these outfits!" Any takers for spring?!

Happy Monday friends!

Monday Confessions

Remember...don't judge me ;)

1. 90210 (the new version) is totally on my DVR and yes I LOOK forward to it!

2. My 19 month old son broke an "unbreakable" nalgene bottle last week on the driveway and I dare say I used the word "pi**ed" when it happened - mostly because i had to go back inside and fill up another sippy cup for before our errands. Evidence... hope the replacement gets sent soon!

3. I am a sucker for convenience, my kids love "uncrustables" for lunch and I am happy to give it to them. Yes I can make PB & J but really, why would do that when all I do is open a package?! Oh and my hubby likes them too!

4. I hit up the sales racks at Kohl's yesterday like a champ - scoring christmas shirts for next year for $1.20.

5. I say "no" so much my son was running around this morning saying "no, no, no, no, no" like a song!

6. DEFINITELY don't think it's cool that we are supposed to get another 3 to 6 inches of snow tonight!

7. Saw the new movie "Just Go With it" on valentines night, laughed so hard my face hurt and this pregnant lady was in danger of wetting herself! Seriously, go see it if you need to laugh really hard. The storyline is a stretch, I mean really - is Jennifer Anniston ever frumpy?! But the laughs are totally worth it!

8. Excited about the potential for some upcoming spring mini - sessions....I am working on the details & spots will be limited. As soon as I can confirm dates and locations, you will all be the first to know!

9. This past week I have sang "Under the Sea" at the top of my lungs while rolling down the windows in order to keep my kids from taking a car nap...it totally works!

10. Finally got my hair highlighted and cut for spring, SO MUCH BETTER! If you need a fantastic stylist, head on over to Trilogy and ask for Jen, she's awesome!

Monday Confessions

1. I am tired, it was a packed weekend and my pregnant body felt it.

2. I have had a hard time having patience today with M & D. They honestly are just being toddlers but things like Dean broke the closer on the screen door in the 60 seconds it took me to walk Macy to the car or they used crayons on furniture faster than I could catch them (I was RIGHT there coloring with them for heavens sake).

3. I miss my Grandfather, would've been his birthday today. I always loved sharing my birthday week with him & a cousin of mine, felt like more of a festival with all the birthdays than just a small celebration! He has been gone for just over 4 months now and the loss of his presence can still be a challenge. Through it all, I am still amazed at my Grandmother and her strength! She is one tough cookie and I love her for it!

4. I just read the Whittakers blog and couldn't stop crying - it made me rethink all of my impatience with M & D today. Huge dose of perspective on the brevity of life. Please join me in praying for this family!

5. Really can't believe I turn 29 this week, where has the last decade gone?! Other than the doctor last week, I am not regularly getting mistaken for a  19 year old anymore :) I almost have 3 kids, a minivan and a mortgage - the epitome of a "boring grown up."

6. Fergie definitely does not make a good Axel Rose.... if you don't know what I am talking about then you obviously weren't watching the super bowl.

7. I think I still hate the PS3, my husband was very excited this weekend and he murdered and destroyed in cyber land because it was a "double points weekend" where all that murdering and destroying earned him extra points! I told him I was going to have to make him a "Nerd Core" shirt soon if he keeps it up.

8. I just sat outside for about 15 minutes reading a book on my deck, while listening to all the snow melt & drop below, I was pretending it was spring and good things were around the corner :)

9. What was I reading you ask? Shepherding a Child's Heart - need some wisdom in dealing with the kids, balancing their acceptable toddler behavior with discipline for disobedience. I really often wish that parenting came with an instruction manual and a magic wand :)

10. Thankful for so many friends and family that regularly support me! I really couldn't survive every day without such great people in my life :) really...

Monday Confessions

I confess that...

1. Having sick babies can take a toll on the whole house, unfortunately my father in law caught some type of bug but it allowed the hubby to have the day off today. I just about went skipping out of the house for an impromptu coffee date with a friend & about a million other errands. 

2. Third pair of Uggs is definitely a charm :) Yes, after two exchanges due to size & feel issues - learned that I am not a fan of how the "cardy" Uggs fit or feel. I went with the new black Bailey style and I dare say I am in love! 

3. I got to photograph a beautiful wedding on Friday night & I have been working on editing it today. Can't wait to share later this week! If you want a small winter wedding, Deerfield is a gorgeous place to pull it off!

4. Sick baby produces a lot of laundry...I lost count of how much laundry I did last week - feel like going on laundry protest. 

5. I don't like how cold it is, it's so cold out it hurts! I need a vacation to a tropical location :)

6. I still hate the PS3

7. Macy and Dean didn't even get out of their pajamas today! They wore them straight til bathtime before exchanging them for a new pair :)

8. I have been dangerous lately with online & in store shopping deals...those little teaser emails need to stop coming to my inbox! (if you need to know this, as of today in stores - old navy had an extra 50% off their clearance and Baby Gap had an extra 40% off anything that was already on sale!) 

9. I am really getting curious as to if we are having a girl or a boy. I am thankful though that we don't know, would've been spending too much money on above mentioned sales :) Sorry friends, we will be keeping names to ourselves again this pregnancy. We have to make sure it "fits" - I know the suspense is awful but think how much more exciting it will all be when the baby is born?!

10. Rooting for Dana on the Next Great Baker!! I have gotten to eat from two of his yummy cakes in the last two weeks, what a treat!!

Lebanon Baloney

I have been having lots of adventures in parenting lately. Constantly saying things I never imagine I would and then all of a sudden I hear my mother come out of my mouth. It's kind of scary how that happens. I have even been using old sayings like, "hold your horses." There's just something funny about first, expecting an 18 month old to have patience, but even then using coloquilialisms like "hold your horses" to get your point across. I was reminiscing a bit about my poor mom and the crazy things I did as a kid and then a good "I told you so" story sprung to mind.

I was probably about 8 years old, if I had to guess, and we were off on a family day trip to Lancaster County, PA. I used to dread these trips of shopping and such but now I could only wish to get such a day of fun. Anyhow, we stopped off at one of the local places for lunch that had all the amish fare. After looking over the menu, I declared that I would have a Lebanon baloney sandwich for lunch. My mom tried to convince me that it wasn't regular baloney and I probably wouldn't like it. I wouldn't listen (imagine that, me being stubborn). Our family also had a strict "you order it, you eat it" policy so I should've thought this out a bit better but nevertheless, I ordered the Lebanon baloney. Of course when it came I thought it was gross, didn't want to eat it, and tried to get sympathy. There wasn't anything but "I told you so" coming from my parents' mouths and of course my brother was loving it too. Who knows what he ate for lunch but because he cleaned his plate, he was allowed to order dessert. I, of course, did not get to order dessert.

He got a beautiful ice cream sundae and proceeded to pretty much stare at me while eating it slowly licking off each bite from his spoon. It was like torture but apparently my brother was too full to finish the ice cream. As we were done our lunch and started making our way to the door, I told my mom that I forgot my coat at the table (which was true). So I ran back, got my coat and saw the unfinished portion of my brother's ice cream screaming my name. I got the spoon and started eating what was left of the delightful sundae! My mom wondered what was taking me so long and came to find me, as she approached me eating the ice cream the only thing she could do was laugh. To this day I don't remember if the coat "leave behind" was pre-meditated to get the ice cream but my family definitely doesn't let me live this story down. And really the lesson in all of it? You should definitely listen to your mother!

Confessions...

I haven't confessed a lot lately so it's time!

1. I watched the bachelor on Monday night, unclear if I will keep watching or not. Why is it so hard to resist? Maybe it's a lack of other new shows on in January but it's addicting like a bag of m & m's!

2. I got a new Dunkin' Donuts coupon book in the mail today and I was about as excited about that as I was about Christmas cards!

3. My Christmas decorations were starting to drive me insane so they went down in a whirlwind on New Years Day night.

4. I am not a fan of the play station 3 and the effect it has on my husband along with the game " call of duty - black ops" - ladies, you know what I am talking about? I think I could be on fire in the same room and he wouldn't notice if he was playing!

5. My babies are 18 months old already! We have been having so much fun together, I like them a lot better when they are not sick and grumpy day after day!

6. I am ridiculously excited to watch a new Grey's Anatomy tonight.

7. I ate out more than once today, Pizza hut for dinner totally hit the spot but I am sure it cancels out the salad I ate for lunch :)

8. I bought Reese puff cereal this week and considered hiding it from my husband (who also loves it). I tried to tell him he couldn't eat it for breakfast, it was strictly a purchase for late night snacks! That didn't really work considering I caught him eating it this morning - he said the "balanced" part of that breakfast was his bagel on the side!

9. I have been having a field day with holiday gift cards, todays steals and deals included cute stuff for the kids at Old Navy & Babies R Us - both having wicked sales. Dean got new chuck taylors in a super fun green for $5.16 and Macy got her own "boots with the fur" for $6.99 at Old Navy. Also scored some cute gear for them in sizes for next year! These pics are just on an ipod so don't judge quality...And yes they are modeling their new footwear with their pjs!

10. There's a clean basket of laundry I have now ignored & not folded for going on 48 hours now.

11. My phone died today and I had to make a visit to the verizon store, not my favorite place - I swear they make up things and speak another language!

12. My dog went to the groomer today and because was so handsome and clean smelling when he was done, he got to ride home in the front seat (like old times when he was the only "kid").

Friday Confessions - Vacation Edition

1. I waited until the last minute to pack today because I truthfully am not a fan of a lot of my clothes right now. I packed my favorite trusty outfits and pray that they fit the vacation needs :) I mean really, it's a beach vacation so I will spend 90% of the time in my bathing suit (another dreadful thought :)

2. My husband is the man - got the car all packed. I really should've taken a picture of all the stuff he got in the back of the highlander!

3. My poor dog used to be like my baby, now he left the house to go on his own vacation at my in-laws and I didn't even say goodbye, sorry Doz.

4. I love traveling and getting to eat whatever I want on the road (remember that I think McD's is awesome). Vacation calories are free :)

5. Got some good books packed and I am hoping I will actually get to read them!

6. Swore I wouldn't let my kids get addicted to the tv in the car.....thank goodness for the DVD Player :) I am sure it's going to be our life saver during this ride!

7. Although I love what I do, I will be happy to put my photo business on hold for a week. I know there are a couple of you waiting on me from your sessions, you will just have to be held over with your sneak peeks & trust that it's worth the wait!!

8. My husband and I disagree in driving styles and directions...18 hour car ride what?!! pray for us :)

9. I have a coupon for a free starbucks drink that I can wait to hit up before we leave tonight :) not sure which delightful drink I will choose!

Have a happy week friends and we will be back in action the first week of August! August!?? WHen did you get here?? :)

Friday Confessions...

I think that weekly confessions are sort of cathartic so I will try to keep them up. Here goes for today!

1. I have eaten a chick fila twice this week for lunch, love that place! And I just learned that kids meal toy can be traded for ice cream, fabulous!

2. I really want to run a marathon in my life but I am a scardy cat. I should really face the fact that I am getting older though and should do this sooner as opposed to later.

3. My to- do list has grown instead of shrinking this week with the prospect of going on vacation next Friday! I have never packed a family for a week long trip before, good times here we come :)

4. I secretly dream of being an interior designer and daily dream of ways to update my house. If time and money were no object, there would be lots of projects going on around here. Just read an awesome book on this front, check out Downtown Chic if you need some inspiration.

5. I am re- reading Sense and Sensibility, gotta love some nineteenth century love quests and excellently spoken English.

6. I am also reading Dave Ramsey and letting him kick my financial butt. Why is managing money so tough sometimes? I think Jesus said it well, "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

7. My first real concert was New Kids on the Block, circa 1988. Yes friends, I am sure I was rocking neon, keds, and lace bottomed leggings to rock out to Jordan, John, Danny, Donnie and Joey :) Did I mention I was a second grader?? Bless my parents.

8. Love my hubby for bringing me home a costco frozen yogurt in the 104 degree heat - seriously can't be beat :)

9. Even photographers can have horrible photos...I took my kids to a park by myself last friday like an idiot to try to take some pictures. I keep saying I am pretty sure I have better pictures of my clients kids than my own! It was hot, they were distracted and it wasn't a success but here are two pics that made it worth it :)

Happy Friday!

Monday Confesssions

Whew, have I been living at a break neck speed! I knew that wedding season would keep me on my toes and it sure has, along with my babies first birthday and a national holiday to boot all in the last week :) I thought tonight I would sit down for a moment to just share a few more things about myself...like a little confessional booth! I am definitely a wear your heart on your sleeve type person and sometimes it's probably a bit too much. So here goes for today...

1. I love McDonalds, I don't care what people say - if it didn't taste so good those fools wouldn't be making billions!

2. Yes, I love the word "fools"

3. I love Jane Austen and just decided tonight to reread Sense and Sensibility, we shall see how it goes. Lizzy & Darcy were Jacob and Bella back in the day...minus the bloodsucking and werewolf issues! A girl can't get enough of a good love story and really...that has to be the best opening line to a novel ever, "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

4. I like free stuff, especially good trash. No, I am not joking. I am pretty sure that every room in our house (minus our kids room) has something I have "rescued" from doom. I love old things and also love re-purposing things so this is an old habit that dies hard. I seriously used to take bike rides early in the morning on trash day to see if anything good was out. And I am usually talking furniture or decorative items people...not gross stuff!

5. I am like a human GPS - great sense of direction and I remember almost everywhere I've ever been. I am good to travel with for this reason but I can be obnoxious about it so smack me if I am.

6. I still have 13 lbs of baby weight to lose.

7. I am itching to travel somewhere where I can't speak the language and the money looks like a toy. I haven't been out of the country since my honeymoon almost 4 years ago!!

8. I appreciate people's small gestures in life...like tonight when my neighbor rang the doorbell and handed me a tray of gorgeous & delicious baked treats "just because" or when my other neighbor came over last week to fix something in our house that had been undone for almost 2 years. (yes, you are wishing you had neighbors like that! I have FABULOUS neighbors :)

9. In 11th grade, we went on a field trip to NYC around Christmas time and I made it onto MTV's new year's countdown show requesting a song by 98 degrees (seriously...I ain't ashamed :)

10. I am BEYOND BLESSED to have two healthy children, I try never to take this for granted.

Ok that's enough for tonight, hope you at least got a chuckle out of me or maybe I made you think of a few funny things about yourself. Take a minute now & then to consider your life, both serious and trivial -I think it's good for the soul.

Blog posts from photo shoots coming up this week :) Goodnight internet!