Monday Confessions, End of 2020, We made it

It’s funny, I found myself thinking about new year’s eve last year and thinking about how we had no clue what was coming for us in 2020. There was all this hopeful “dawn of a new decade” talk and no such anticipation of the challenges that would come. In the same way, we don’t know what 2021 holds but most of us are hopeful that it has to be better than the last 12 months! We have ALL been affected by the pandemic either directly with sickness or through the economic struggles or even the shut downs of vital things, like schools. Parents of school aged children have felt this year acutely in so many ways, especially if you’re a working parent trying to school your children as well.

I probably won’t write anything here that hasn’t already been said but I think maybe the biggest silver lining of 2020 has been slowing down and spending so much time as a family. This has also been a part of the struggle of 2020, but what this year has shown us is that life truly does go on. Even with nothing on the calendar, our days have still been so full! We have grown as a family and our kids have grown and changed an entire years’ worth, even if it looks really different than previous years. I would’ve never imagined on New Year’s Eve that I would start a new job this year, have a kindergartner learning virtually or that I would lose my beloved grandmother. It’s been a mix of blessings and hardships for sure. So much of daily life changed but it has allowed us all to take stock in what matters and what will persevere when other things fade away. It’s been hard to accept that things are really, really different but I just keep trying to embrace all the feelings, while taking it one day at a time. What’s your silver lining of 2020? What has been getting you through?

My biggest daily job is raising my kids, so here’s some updated images I took of them one fall afternoon full of threats and negotiations. I have one child that has no individual images and barely any nice smiles in any photos because he’s 9 and I am apparently asking too much. My oldest two are looking more like teenagers every day, although thankfully we are still about 18 months off from that milestone. My sweet “baby” Benji is a baby no more. This year has changed us all so much. We didn’t do any full family photos because really, who needs to see me aging?! (Kidding, sort of, but it was too hard to schedule in and figure out).

I keep coming back to this Emily Dickinson quote, that even though there may be many harbors for us in 2020 (thankfully!), it does not change the sea or the storm. Hopeful for more peace in 2021!

“I hope that you have power,

and as much of peace as in our deep

existence may be possible.

To multiply the harbors does not reduce the sea. “

~Emily Dickinson

Monday Confessions, Advent 2020

If there ever was a year we needed some good news, it’s this year, right?! The season of advent started just yesterday. If you aren’t familiar, Advent is the traditional season of counting down to Christmas, awaiting the birth of Jesus. It’s a time to both reflect on things and look forward with the hope to come. There are so many amazing options out there in the world for reading and listening to advent plans, so I am going to give you just a few right here in case you’re interested!

Reading: She Reads Truth for the ladies or He Reads Truth for the men. Each reading plan includes bible readings for the day and then a short devotional thought to go along with. They each also usually include an image to save to your phone or share to social media. The images serve as great reminders throughout the day!

Listening: We Wonder Podcast is for the whole family! There’s a daily podcast about 10-15 minutes. Each day will have a central scripture, thoughts and prayers.

Music: Shadow and Light playlist, compiled by Tsh Oxenrider to accompany her new advent themed book, Shadow and Light. I have not yet gotten this book but it sounds great! I think the music is more contemplative than fun/jolly Christmas music, but it’s hope filled all the same! Another new album by great artists is Hope Has a Name by Passion.

May you be blessed in this season by the coming of the light, even though it truly feels like we are in darkness!

“The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
a light has dawned.” ~Isaiah 9:1

Monday Confessions, Where have I been?

“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.” ~Albert Camus

Well we’ve made it to November in an extremely hard year. Where have I been you ask? Well for starters, I took on a new full time teaching job. Many of you that have hung around here long enough know that I previously taught part-time at the local community college here in DE and I adored that position. I absolutely loved engaging adults in the art and craft of photography. I had been doing that almost 9 years when an opportunity presented itself as an art position at a local elementary school, which I accepted when it was offered to me. I am sure the craziness of getting hired during a pandemic via zoom interviews and calls will never leave me. I am also sure that the difficulty of starting a new position in such a difficult year in education might explain quite a few of my new gray hairs. My new position, along with an extremely challenging parenting season (my kids have been learning from home since early September and just recently went back into the classroom 2 days a week), have left me quite quiet here on my blog! It’s not that I haven’t been photographing things, it’s quite the opposite. October was a very busy photography month for me and November looks to be busy as well.

I am truly taking it one day at a time right now, and sometimes it’s just hour by hour, my friends. The best description I can give anyone when they ask me how I am doing is “like an internet browser with too many tabs open and the connection is slow.” My brain just does not have enough categories to compute everything going on in our daily lives, as well as our country and world at large. I know MANY of us feel this way with the 8 or more months of living in a pandemic alone. The stress and struggle is real. If you add in a significant loss, like losing my grandmother in August and the residual grief and tasks related to that, overwhelm is a constant feeling. Also considering I am in a new position in education at an extremely challenging time, there are days that I just feel like I can’t manage. It’s also a time when parenting and trying to help four children learn at home could alone make me feel like I am drowning. I am not sharing all this to call for any pity, but I am sharing this as an act of solidarity. If you find yourself in overwhelm, know that you aren’t alone.

I am not going to offer any platitudes for you today, as many are floating on the internet. I just wanted to let you know where I am and what I have been doing. I hope to share some recent sessions in the weeks to come!

Monday Confessions, Spring in Quarantine

Good Morning internet friends, how are you holding up? By my calculations, we are starting week 5 in “quarantine” status or shelter-in-home, or whatever your state is currently calling it. The weather here is so awful right now that I am thankful to not have to actually leave. The wind and rain is whipping against the house and it’s supposed to last all day.

I took a few minutes this weekend to appreciate some spring scenery along the Brandywine River, after I made a few Easter deliveries to family up north. It’s hard to both feel the current state of everything in the world and yet see spring blooming outside my window. I wanted to just take a few minutes alone to appreciate the beauty still unfolding outside. I missed the peak of the trees around the fountain but it was still lovely, nonetheless. The history of this park is interesting, as it was “established in 1886, it is the largest urban park in DE, and much like Central Park, owes its origin to the late 19th century “Natural Landscape Movement” of landscape architect Frederick Law Olmstead. The Park fulfilled the need for public recreational space within a larger urban environment.” It’s definitely worth a visit and I took all of these images while on a 2 mile jog.

I should also say that really my confessions today are actually just survival tips! I know everyone is throwing in their opinions on what to do to make the most of this strange season but thought I would share mine too. I mostly though am finding sanity and solace in exercise, the outdoors, and my faith. Of course my family are a huge part of my daily rhythms, but these other 3 things are my literal sanity these days, because even in a pandemic scenario, all those three things are still possible! I hope you have a good week ahead!

All Images shot on iPhone 11.

Monday Confessions, 5 things I am liking

It’s the middle of winter, which for many of us can leave us feeling blue or at least wishing for warmer days full of sunshine. Thankfully we had some sun here yesterday on the East Coast after a long rainy week last week! For today’s confessions, I thought I would just let you in on a few things I am currently liking!

1. Are you a Jane Austen fan? If so, you’ll definitely want to check out Sanditon on PBS on Sunday nights. It was her last unfinished novel that has been turned into a great mini-series. I am actually not sure if there will be more seasons but so far I am really enjoying this one. It has all the things that Jane Austen was known for like not only love, but duty and friendships and of course money!

2. I am also currently loving OPI nail polish in the color, Funny Bunny. It’s a perfect neutral winter white! I have been wearing it often! You can find it right on amazon if you aren’t near a store that sells OPI.

3. At the new year, there’s so much talk of resolutions and changes. This is the time of the year 6 weeks in, that so many of those are already forgotten or put to the wayside. What I have really enjoyed this year is the Rhythms of Renewal Book and Podcast. The subtitle of the book is “trading stress and anxiety for a life of peace and purpose..” Author Rebekah Lyons stress that we don’t need a ton of new resolutions, but in fact we really need life to fall into certain Rhythms to be able to find ourselves feeling better. There are 4 main categories of Rhythms that healthy habits can fit into: Rest, Restore, Connect and Create. Both her book and her podcast explore themes and topics on how to get to better overall health and leave behind the stress and anxiety! We all could use a little bit of that right?! My one caution is don’t feel like you have to change everything at once, just choose one area to work on and they even have an assessment to see which rhythm is your strength!

4. Cheer on Netflix is another show I really just enjoyed! Have you heard of it? A small Texas community college rules the roost when it comes to collegiate cheer leading and this show chronicles a season of their lives as they head to the national title stage. You fall right into wanting to know more about the students and their stories that brought them to Navarro College. Monica is the gritty, no- nonsense coach that also leaves you wanting to maybe be her friend or at least envy how she keeps it all together under stress! It’s just a 6 episode season, so if you like a good human interest story, this is a good one! If you don’t want to just adopt Jerry by the last episode, I don’t know if we can be friends :)

5. This is not on anyone’s health wagon after everything else I have said, but Dunkin Donuts has Girl Scout cookie flavored coffees again this year! I truly can’t tell you how delicious the Coconut Caramel flavor is, think Samoa Girl Scout cookie flavor stirred into a delicious hot cup of coffee! I love it and I actually like seasonal flavors, it helps you to have things to look forward to. You can get it in both regular coffee or latte, I recommend you trying one for sure!

I hope these few things I am loving bring some ideas to your President’s day because maybe you need a coffee suggestion or a good show to get into! Happy Monday my friends!

Monday Confessions, Recent Reads

Good morning, how was your weekend? The rainy Saturday morning was actually nice for me, I was able to finish up a couple things I was reading in between feeding children and refereeing screen time and sibling disagreements. My Instagram break in January kept me from sharing some books I’ve read on my feed but that’s a fantastic reason to share a post here on the blog today! In the winter, I love being cozy under a blanket with a hot drink and a good book. I also think that this collection of books has such a HUGE range of variety, there’s something for everyone. I don’t discriminate from memoirs, biographies, fiction and religious writing…I love it all! You’ll have to let me know if you decide to read one of these and how you like or don’t like it!

1. The Bible, I am reading along with the Bible Recap plan, which has been great. The sections are broken into a daily reading of 2-3 chapters and then accompanied by a short podcast that helps fill in details on what you read. I really enjoy Tara Leigh Cobble and the awesome news is that you can start at any time and get in on the plan! My goal is to make it through the entire bible by the end of 2020. I have had this goal before and I confess, have never made it in a consecutive 12 months. I realized that this is the most important reading I could possibly do, so why delay?!

   Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t read the whole Bible yet this year. We have only made it through Genesis and Job. Let me tell you though, if you think the bible is a boring book, you obviously have never read it through! These two books of the bible read more like soap operas and dystopias than boring religious texts!

(Not my own image)

2. The Dutch House by Ann Patchett which is a fiction read, based just out side of Philadelphia and spans decades of time after WWII. The Dutch House is a central character in the book, it’s “a lavish estate in the suburbs outside of Philadelphia. Meant as a surprise for his wife, the house sets in motion the undoing of everyone he loves.” I really enjoyed this book because it explores so much of how childhood and a sense of home forever shape us, even late into adulthood. It explores relationships and how they too, give us a sense of home. The main characters throughout are siblings, Maeve and Danny, who share their story over the decades. Definitely recommend if you are in for a good fiction story to get lost in.

3. The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan: I enjoy her writing style and again, that local Philadelphia perspective allows me to understand her stories from her youth, even though they preceded my existence. In this non-fiction memoir, it’s a poignant mix of her stories from youth and finding out that she and her beloved Dad simultaneously are fighting cancer on opposite coasts. It’s both heavy and light-hearted, the way much of life unfolds as we face struggles. If you are in the mood for a memoir, I liked this one. I think it’s also helpful perspective if you have a friend facing fighting breast cancer, she shares lots of insight.

4. Troublemaker by Leah Remini: This might seem like a total left field option from my usual but I have to admit that I was fascinated by her life story and mainly how she got into Scientology. She reveals so much about the “religion” that just seems flat out crazy. Crazy is the word that just kept coming to mind as I was reading! Scientology has strategically been kept under wraps for so long, which makes this a rare look into the life of the cult members. I enjoyed this biography even more than I thought I might, although I admittedly skimmed certain parts that sounded like another language ( some of the Scientology talk that sounded more like science fiction than real life). Scientology was created by L. Ron Hubbard and if you read about him for only about 5 minutes, you can tell that there’s nothing about this man that you want to base your own life or fate on. I found the descriptions of Scientology both ludicrous and fascinating all at the same time! It did drive home the point for me though that people are seeking truth in life and they can find very skewed versions of truth that they’re willing to sacrifice their lives for.

I also am curious that if she reads her own audio book, it might be an awesome option just to listen to. i could truly her her voice and personality in the writing!

6. Whiskey in a Teacup by Reese Witherspoon: I adore Reese Witherspoon from so many of her movies as well as her recent Netflix Series Shine On, featuring women in different roles in culture. She just seems like the real deal and this book was both biography and cook book! I have not yet tried any of her recipes, but I plan on. I read it in an afternoon because it’s a beautiful blend of images and text. She shares on everything from throwing a party with southern hospitality to the correct way to use hot rollers to set your hair! Fantastic, right? This book just reinforced my adoration for her!

7. Pioneer Woman Cooks by Ree Drummond: This is actually her first cookbook from years ago, which also blends her stories in with her food. I love her as a person and haven’t made one of her recipes yet that I didn't like. I actually picked this book up on Christmas clearance because it was super inexpensive and I have a few other books of hers I enjoy. It was actually fun to look back over her earlier photography and stories from the race the preceded her Food Network cooking show, which I am also a fan of. I like reading cook books because they inspire me to cook more, to try new things and to remember that meal literally nourish our bodies and souls!

8. Steal Away Home by Matt Carter & Aaron Ivey: If you have read this blog for any amount of time, you know I like the Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey podcast. Her husband wrote a book a couple years back and it has long been on my “to read” list, so I was excited when I got it for Christmas! It’s a historical fiction, weaving together the life stories of Charles Spurgeon and Thomas Johnson. Charles Spurgeon grew up to be a prolific English preacher and writer, who still impacts the faith of so many today. Thomas Johnson is a lesser known person, but a fascinating story as he was born a slave on a Virginia plantation. His unlikely story of becoming a Christian and eventually a freed slave after the civil war, led him to the pastor’s college under Spurgeon’s teaching. It’s really well written and as historically accurate as possible, which I found enjoyable. I liked getting to read about the daily life of such a well known historical figure, as well as the eye witness accounts from Thomas Johnson in civil war era Virginia. This book was a little ride through the 1800’s in both the United States and England. I definitely recommend this one!

Monday Confessions, Blue Monday

It’s Blue Monday, have you ever heard the term? Usually the third Monday of January, Blue Monday tends to me the most depressing Monday of the year. The science behind it is a little weak but it’s there, none the less, because the holidays are over, the winter is bleak, resolutions might be fading and a lot of us are facing holiday related debts. So what are we to do with all this? I’m not exactly sure?! 

I know that I’m trying to be in healthy rhythms to fight those winter blues. Things like exercise and connecting with others help to fight those winter blues. If you couldn’t tell by my end of the year post, I needed a change in pace. The pace I had through the fall and holiday season was really hard to keep up. I’m trying to look at January as a natural slowing of things. Did you know that our bodies naturally do need more sleep in winter and are affected by the shorter hours of daylight?! I often feel like I want to go to bed at 7pm. Ha. But seriously, it’s ok if you are feeling a bit like hibernating. Our world goes through seasons on purpose and it’s natural that our bodies will too!

Part of my pace change was taking Instagram off my phone at the new year. I have been a few weeks without it and it’s certainly helping to clear some head space. Now, I confess, I still have spent some time on facebook due to business and other groups I run, but the overall way less time on social media has helped me the last few weeks. I have read more books and also learned that the input I allow into my mind and heart, certainly have an overall effect on the output of my brain and heart. I will be coming back on Instagram in the weeks to come with some fresh book reviews and ideas, but I’m currently still enjoying the break.

So here’s to more time outside in fresh air and sunshine this week! Here’s to more time reading books instead of scrolling Instagram feeds! Here’s to more time being kind to our bodies than punishing them! Have a beautiful week my friends!

A family hike through our state forest a couple weekends ago was the perfect soul pick-me-up!

Monday Confessions, When You Feel Like You're Not Enough

I read a “funny” meme recently that really did make me laugh, but it was because of the underlying truth of being a mother in 2019. The only thing is, it really wasn’t that funny because it held so much truth! Here it is…

I even feel like they actually left off a few things like be thin and fit, as well as decorating and keeping a Pinterest worthy styled home. Make sure your car is clean and “you don’t let them see you sweat.” Make sure you have “me time” and “date night” and everything else under the sun. Make sure your kids have magical holidays and clean clothes and dinners that cover all the food groups….we could play this game all day!

This is an exhausting list of expectations right? I have four kids, which is exponentially harder some days. I am spanning age ranges from 10 down to 4, so I have to have discussions about appropriate internet usages with some while still praying the youngest will make it to the potty on time. I have kids in 3 different schools and on a week like this week with a holiday, you better believe the reminders on my phone are set for all different things from where I have to bring lemonade, to who has the field trip, and when they can wear the costume to school! It’s both mentally and physically exhausting, am I right? You add in any kind of career or work on top of all this and you have the potential to feel defeated before your feet hit the floor.

I have some hope though, if you’re feeling like you’re not enough today, because you ARE enough. Your value doesn’t lie in what you do or even the kids you raise, it lies in WHO you are. You are a precious, God-created person who has value just in being. There is even more hope for the believer in Jesus. Our church is going through daily bible devotionals written by all different church members, old, young and in between. Today’s verse was, “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises…” You can full stop on that verse. You have been CHOSEN and given everything you need for a godly life, through Jesus. God also gives us great and precious promises! What a great reminder as we start another week, tempted to feel like we are not enough or not doing enough. You ARE ENOUGH!

(I am coming off a very full and tiring weekend, so forgive any run on sentences or incorrect grammar this morning!)

Monday Confessions, September Favorite Things

As I write this, the sun has not yet come up on this September morning. We are starting our third full week back into the school season and so far, so good! I thought that I would just share a few recent favorite things with you as today’s confessions!

1. Pumpkin Cream Cold brew at Starbucks. Have you tried this yet? It’s great because it’s the pumpkin flavor without the overwhelming spice and it’s also icy, which is nice because it’s still going to be about 90 degrees today here in DE.

2. Yellowstone TV Show with Kevin Costner: We are hooked on this show! It’s a story of a Montana ranch owner and quite a few dysfunctional family members and ranch hands. The setting is gorgeous and the drama is over the top but it makes for a great show, along with a great sound track!

3. Whiskey Myers Music: This one comes right from the Yellowstone show, because the bland played an epidote in bar scene and now I can’t stop listening on Spotify! If you love southern rock, this is a great listen for you.

4. OPI Funny Bunny nail color: This white nail color is the perfect every day neutral before we get into the darker and deeper colors of fall.

5. Inexpensive & awesome sunglasses at Amazon: These have been a favorite for the second half of the summer with the mirrored lenses and light weight frames. I do have more expensive pairs of polarized sunglasses for days at the beach and long days outside, but these are perfect for just running around!

I hope you have a great week ahead and that September is treating you well!

Monday Confessions, on a Tuesday

Hey there internet friends! I am working hard on getting back into my Monday Confessions series. It’s a great place for me to keep up with all of you in between photography posts. I hope all of you find your summer off to a great start. We have hit the ground running with an out-of state wedding the first weekend the kids done school and then traveled to the shore for part of last week in between photo jobs.

I have to say that I am daily wrestling between the need to try to enjoy my kids and to get work done in this busy season. My kids keep saying their really annoying SpongeBob quote, “the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” I laugh because these confessions are basically sharing the “inner machinations of my mind!” SO there you go, Patrick and SpongeBob can be deep right?! (Insert kid humor because that’s where I am living these days!)

1. I am hooked on Annie F Downs Podcast That Sounds Fun, because it is the summer of the Enneagram. Have you heard of this personality typing yet? What number are you? I would love to hear from those of you also learning about the enneagram. I definitely recommend these episodes, which will take a “number” or personality type for each episode and break it down. It’s not only so helpful with learning your own heart, but also in relating to those around you. It can really help explain motivations and fears. Start here with Suzanne Stabile and her explanations in this episode!

2. I confess that in seasons when we are all too busy, we are grumpy. Does this happen to you too? May was truly an insane schedule for our family with little time off for anything and both the kids and grown ups were feeling down. How do you build in some rest or put guards on your schedule? I think it’s especially hard when you work for yourself (insert my personality type that thrives on trying to get things done.)

3. I confess that the older I get, the more I despise how other people drive. Is that weird? Can anyone relate? I have been watching so many aggressive driving behaviors lately on the roads and I am like “hello, can you not see me trying to safely drive my 4 children here?!”

4. We have been big on BLT sandwiches for dinners lately. It’s perfect for summer with the fresh tomatoes and an easy dinner that doesn’t heat up your whole kitchen (unless you fill your entire house with smoke like i did last time…burnt bacon smell, delicious!! Haha) Anyhow, I would like to share the game changer when I made the herb mayo from the Magnolia Cookbook . Here’s the recipe below from Magnolia Blog, enjoy!

   Creamy Herb Dressing

   ingredients
   1 cup mayonnaise (or 1 cup plain greek yogurt)
   1 cup chopped fresh basil leaves
   1 cup chopped fresh chives or green onion
   1 tbsp fresh flat-leafed parsley
   1 tbsp fresh chopped tarragon
   1 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (2 lemons)
   2 cloves chopped garlic
   1 tsp ground black pepper

   1 tsp salt
   1 cup sour cream

   instructions
   In a food processor or blender, combine all ingredients (except the sour cream) until smooth. Add sour cream and process until blended. If not using immediately, refrigerate the dressing until ready to serve. Store in refrigerator up to 3 days. (This dressing can be made the day before. Just cover and chill.) Yields: 2 cups

5. I met Robin Roberts briefly at the Phillies Game last Wednesday! How fun is it to meet someone in person who shows up every morning on your tv screen? I have admired how she has handled a lot of things, including sickness, publicly.

Meeting Joe Biden

Last week I had a phone call that changed my week. I was contacted by a family who was holding a small ceremony to honor their father/grandfather for his service to both the country and the world, as his health is failing. He served faithfully in WWII and then came home to serve locally in his hometown in Delaware. Part of his Delaware connections and influences included Joe Biden. This connection with Biden had survived the decades, which is why it was touching to the family that Biden wanted to attend the pinning ceremony for their family member. I want to protect their privacy at a sensitive time but I wanted to share a few images of getting to meet and photograph Biden last week, especially considering him announcing his run for the presidency this morning.

Biden is very warm and personable, which explains his popularity through the decades. He joked with me about photographers being the only ones all over the world to “boss around” world leaders and they have to listen. He also teased that whenever photographers say “just a few more shots,” that we are never telling the truth. It made me laugh and brought levity to the moment when I felt a little under pressure.

He also shared something his mother used to say that stuck with me. She apparently used to say something to the effect of, “courage is the most important virtue because without courage, none of the rest of the virtues will matter.” I can imagine that advice served him well in life, when things got tough or odds seemed impossible. He has survived much loss in his lifetime and yet continues in public service. Although I wouldn’t necessarily politically align myself with a lot of his stances, I certainly was drawn to his person and character. It will give me a lot to ponder heading into the voting booth in November 2020.

I am thinking on all of this today, after visiting the U.S. Constitution center in Philadelphia yesterday. I have to say, it’s a powerful place. It reminded me yet again of the brilliance and beauty of our system of government. It reminded me of the continued fight for equality among U.S. citizens and a striving from those very early days of our nation to create a strong central government, while protecting personal freedoms. The opening lines of the constitution are so powerful and lay out the purpose of our federal government, “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity…” May we all consider these words as we work toward that more perfect union and work together to bring about things such as justice and domestic tranquility.

*images cropped to protect privacy*

Signing copies of his book Promise Me Dad

My visit to Notre Dame Cathedral, September 2018

““And if you wish to receive of the ancient city an impression with which the modern one can no longer furnish you, climb--on the morning of some grand festival, beneath the rising sun of Easter or of Pentecost--climb upon some elevated point, whence you command the entire capital; and be present at the wakening of the chimes. Behold, at a signal given from heaven, for it is the sun which gives it, all those churches quiver simultaneously. First come scattered strokes, running from one church to another, as when musicians give warning that they are about to begin. Then, all at once, behold!--for it seems at times, as though the ear also possessed a sight of its own,--behold, rising from each bell tower, something like a column of sound, a cloud of harmony. First, the vibration of each bell mounts straight upwards, pure and, so to speak, isolated from the others, into the splendid morning sky; then, little by little, as they swell they melt together, mingle, are lost in each other, and amalgamate in a magnificent concert. It is no longer anything but a mass of sonorous vibrations incessantly sent forth from the numerous belfries; floats, undulates, bounds, whirls over the city, and prolongs far beyond the horizon the deafening circle of its oscillations.

Nevertheless, this sea of harmony is not a chaos; great and profound as it is, it has not lost its transparency; you behold the windings of each group of notes which escapes from the belfries. ” 
― Victor Hugo, The Hunchback of Notre-Dame

Side view of Notre Dame from down on the bank of the Siene

The view out my window, right over my bed. Every afternoon a violinist would play right there in the shadows of the cathedral.

Early morning light

View in between towers

Some of the famed gargoyles and statues

The spire that fell in yesterday’s fire

A gargoyle’s view of Paris

The bells in the bell tower

Of course “Our Lady” is just as stunning at night!

Yesterday evening, a spark grew into a flame and forever changed the facade of Notre Dame, “Our Lady,” Cathedral in Paris, France. She has seen a lot of human events in her over 800 years of existence, some of which marred her. My hope is that the fire, although drastically changing her, will not forever damage her. Her history is linked to those like Joan of Arc, Henry VI of England, and Napoleon Bonaparte. Napoleon is said to have revived much of the cathedral, as well as Paris, after being in disrepair . So much beauty and history exists in this same place. It’s often a spiritual place for people of the Christian faith from all over the world. It stands near “kilometer zero” of the French highways, meaning it is the literal center of things.

I am just thankful that I got to see it this past September in the form that it has stood in for so many hundreds of years. When I studied in Italy one summer in college, a professor told us the saying that the church was central to every life in Europe, considered a part of “birth, life and death.” A church was where you were baptized at birth, you celebrated things like marriage in life and then of course, held a funeral at your death. We can look at Notre Dame and think about the many lives it was a part of. We will have to look at this fire as the beginning of the next chapter for her and see what lies ahead. I know many will join the efforts to restore and support the revitalization. The thing about Notre Dame is that it took over 300 years to complete in the first place, so those who embarked on starting the cathedral never saw the finished product. It took a work of faith to build something that one would not see in his lifetime.

Monday Confessions, 5 things to stop doing in order to produce more Joy!

I don’t know about you friends, but January usually finds me trying to slow down and take stock a bit about what’s important. It’s sometimes a forced change in pace. The winter weather keeps us in, the hustle of the holidays are over and things are just generally slower for me in business. I need this “reset” so badly but I also find myself resisting it. So, instead of resolutions of things I need to start, I’ve actually been thinking about some things that I know I need to stop doing in order to allow for more joy in my days!

Listen friends, I am taking this advice as much as I am giving it. I’ve been wrestling with chronic stress and insomnia (see also “Mommy Burnout” by Dr. Sheryl Ziegler) so these are things I need to stop as much as anyone to gain fresh joy and perspective in my life, as well as my health.

If you resonate with this blog post, I highly recommend both of these books! I enjoy both of their different writing styles but mostly their messages. They also both have excellent Instagram accounts (for when you’re not avoiding the internet :)

1. Stop over scheduling: This seems self explanatory but we all need to take a good look at our schedules, especially as we head into spring and a new season. Don’t try to jam in too many things for yourself or your family. Kids need margin too. They need free play and even, boredom. I know how much it causes me to get frazzled when I am rushing everyone around and nothing puts disappointment on a kids face like telling him he has to rush off somewhere instead of getting to play outside with friends/siblings.

“Busyness is a byproduct of our culture. It is the sacrifice we make for our religion of more, for our perfectionist tendencies, for our temptation to over schedule, over inform, overprovide.” - Erin Loechner, Chasing Slow

2. Stop Comparing: We all know the saying that “comparison is the thief of joy” and yet so many of us live constantly trying to see how we measure up. I think this affects each of us differently, but it can be everything from body image, to clothing style to our home or kids…It is any area of life that we find ourselves comparing and lacking. Don’t do this to yourself. If you find yourself comparing, take a step back and ask yourself why?

“There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” -G. K. Chesterton

3. Stop wasting too much time on internet: See above about the comparing issue….so much of this springs from our internet culture. We don’t all need to know what the housewife in Wisconsin is baking or decorating or wearing today. It’s not that all these things are bad things, but it’s just that it takes up time and mental space that you could devote to other things in your days. Set a timer if you need to or remove apps from your phone. A big help is turning off notifications so that you aren’t getting dinged constantly and beckoned to come look at your phone. I promise more days with less internet will bring your heart joy.

“Deep breath. Are we all inhaling intoxicating Pinterest fumes? An oxygenated reality? And if so, can we call it true inspiration? The definition of inspiration is the drawing of breath, an inhalation, a gasp. A filling-up that offers an abundance of energy for your day, for the task, for that project, for this life.”

- Erin Loechner, Chasing Slow

4. Stop acting like you don’t have power to change: I heard a podcast the other day talking about maintaining a family’s schedule and the interviewer said, “it feels more like the family schedule controls me than I control it.” I do understand this feeling for sure, but a question arose while I listened. Are we not in control of what we choose to fill our lives with? We truly do have the power to change things if they aren’t working for our lives or families. If nothing else, America is certainly the land of choice. We have options about schools, jobs, foods, etc. We can change things that aren’t working. Does that mean it’s easy? No, it most likely won’t be easy. I can revisit a lot of feelings from early last year when we contemplated moving…it was by FAR not easy and 2018 was the year that tried to kill me, but now sitting on the other side of that journey in our new home, I can see it was worth the huge change. This idea of the power to change can apply to all kinds of habits, from our health to our housework, so don’t be afraid and start small! One small change can lead to big differences over time.

5. Stop with the frantic: I know all these suggestions here are like a spiderweb that all connects at this point, which they do. This frantic part though, it’s not just a pace but the frantic part is a mind set. Frantic has you thinking, “when your mind has to work seven steps ahead instead of just being where you are, because this deadline’s coming, and the laundry has to get done before that trip, because you can’t forget to pack snowpants for school, and you need to beg for more time on this project. Again…Good things like efficiency and multi-tasking go off the rails so far that sometimes I find myself running in my own house, shuttling things from room to room like my life is a timed obstacle course. This is insane.” (excerpt from Shauna Niequist, Stop Hustling and Get Your Life Back).

I find myself getting like this all the time, worrying about everything from big decisions like education all the way down to what is for dinner. It’s not like we can escape a lot of these parts of life, but we can make room for more slow time and quiet. It’s the opposite of what culture teaches us constantly, which is to dominate, to hustle, and to succeed at all costs. Sometimes “success” needs to just being to slow down and play with our preschooler on the floor. Our souls need a lot more of that type of interaction than the constant hustle. As I am exploring my serious need for rest and a change of pace, this is not only a preference issue but an absolute necessity for me. I need to change out of the frantic if I am going to find health again.

I hope you hear my heart on this Monday morning, we are in it tougher. What are some things you need to STOP doing in order to create more joy in your days?

Monday Confessions, MLK Jr.

Life has brought us to mid-January and a day to reflect on Martin Luther King, Jr’s life and words. It’s interesting how his words always seem timely, no matter the situation. When a life is lived with character and dignity like his was, it has a much more last impact than so many of the flash-in-the-pan type people we see rise to notoriety today. I know that I have reflected on this before but years ago I went to the civil rights museum in Memphis, TN (the site of the former Lorraine Motel when MLK Jr was shot). Visiting there was such a powerful experience and will stay with me. It made me examine my own heart and think of all the ways I can tend to think about people just because we are different. I think also as a young white female in America, it made me face some truths I didn’t like.

I confess, I had never read MLK Jr.’s speech on Washington in it’s entirety until this morning (or if I had, I had forgotten, or quite possibly in the naiveté of my youth, I didn’t understand it’s profoundness.) So many of his urges for change are still quite relevant and necessary in 2019. It had me thinking also of the current work of Bryan Stevenson, lawyer, advocate and author of Just Mercy. As I had the privilege of sitting in a room to hear Stevenson speak last year, it was not only powerful but personal. He urged us all in the room to get proximate to these issues, issues that make so many of uncomfortable or issues we tend to just try to ignore. Proximity to real struggles forces us to deal with them. We can no longer claim ignorance to the injustices going on around us. If you haven’t yet read his book, run don’t walk to the library or to Amazon to get it. EVERY American should be reading this book, in my opinion.

So what can you do today in honor of MLK, Jr? Ask yourself, was there a time when I didn’t speak up and should have? Are there ways I have allowed thoughts or feelings based not on truth of us all being God’s children, but allowed thoughts of prejudice? What are ways I can move towards others who are different than me? How can we contribute to the movement towards a more equitable America for all?

“‘I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up, live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Monday Confessions, 2019

Maybe you were like me and were waking up to the first Monday of 2019 with calendars and to-do’s swimming in your head or maybe you too just need the reminder of the sunrise. I was letting the thoughts swirl and then I looked out my window to see this sunrise. It’s a reminder to me that a fresh day is dawning, full of new mercies.

“Anxiety is an expensive habit. Of course, it might be worth the cost if it worked. But it doesn’t. Our frets are futile. Worry has never brightened a day, solved a problem, or cured a disease. God leads us. God will do the right thing at the right time. And what a difference that makes.” ~Max Lucado

So as we have new beginnings for the year and for the day, just remember the creator of it all is here with us. We can set goals or make changes, but he’s meeting us with grace all along the way.

Monday Confessions, a few favorite things

December is in full swing and it got me thinking about a few of my favorite things I’ve been loving lately. I thought this is the perfect spot to share, not necessarily as a gift inspiration but maybe as some ideas of things that might encourage you in this hectic but sweet season.

Here’s what I am loving…

1. Our new home. It has started taking shape as a place that we not only live our daily lives but we are starting to make memories. It’s been a CRAZY year for us in 2018 with making the decision to move, but finally being in our new home and settling in for the holiday season has been sweet.

2. Come Let us Adore Him devotional from Paul David Tripp. This book has a reading for each day of the month, allowing us to focus on one aspect of the advent season. It also has a bible tie in and a central idea if you want to chat about it with your kids. I am first to be distracted by all the “to-do’s” of the season and daily life busyness, but this is helping me to remember the big picture of Jesus coming to earth in flesh.

3. Simple Addiction Leggings are amazing. If you are/were a Lularoe fan but no longer have a local rep, these are an amazing and affordable, very similar option. I love the plain black but I do have a fun holiday pair as well.

4. LIIFT 4 Workouts are also a new favorite. I am beginning week 3 of the plan this week and it has challenged me but is getting me back into a good routine. It’s 4 workouts each week and none of them are more than 40 minutes. It’s a combo of lifting and hiit, which is my favorite combo. (Remind me I said that when I get done this post and have to head to the basement for my workout!)

5. Dunkin Donuts coffee is always a favorite of mine and right now if you have the app, they’re doing a great fundraiser with a large hot coffee that’s only $1.49 for the customer, while Dunkin’ donates 50 cents for every coupon redeemed to regional food banks. SO basically it’s win, win. You’re getting a great and inexpensive cup of delicious hot coffee and helping your neighbors in need. “Help Roast Hunger!”

6. I recently got hooked on the show Nashville, I know that I am WAY late to the party. I had heard Kimberly Williams Paisley talking about it on a podcast (she played a character named Peggy in the show). I decided to check it out and got hooked right in! If you love country music with a side of drama, it’s a good show. And I mean who doesn’t love Connie Britton?! (Tammy Taylor for president!)

7. SO earlier this week I lamented on Facebook that I wasn’t excited about our elf returning this week BUT I have had a change of heart over this little guy. I was wisely reminded that our kids are growing up so fast and in fact the oldest two are on the verge of not believing so I am taking this little guy as my nightly reminder to savor the season with the kids. They excitedly wake up each day to see where he is or what he is up to!

Our elf “Jerome” hanging out in Macy’s stocking today

8. Have you heard about Iceland's “Yule Book Flood” tradition on Christmas Eve? A holiday where you hop in bed to each chocolate and read books is totally a holiday tradition that I can get behind! What books are on your wish list or your gift list?!

I hope you have a wonderful week and December is giving you great reasons to be thankful. Share some of your recent favorites with me in the comments!

Monday Confessions, It's been a while

Hello dear friends, I know it has been a while. I wasn’t sure if any of you were even missing these weekly installments of things on my mind in between photo posts, but I have been assured that a few of you appreciate these posts! So I have decided it’s better to just hop back in than to keep skipping. The thing is, I can’t even describe the level of tired I am feeling this morning. It’s been months of moving, transition, changes, surviving and then moving again. My whole family is feeling the tired seeping into our bones. When we decided last April that we were going to put our house on the market, that started the wheels in motion to first the prep and eventual selling of our house. That led to having to move everything we owned into storage and living with family while we found and then waited on settlement for the home we are now in. Then of course that meant moving again on the heels of the holiday season.

I think the very hardest thing is that daily life doesn’t stop for you in the midst of huge changes like this. Kids need need 3 meals a day, clean clothes and a place to sleep at night. It’s hard to keep the juggle of daily life while finding the energy to try to do everything else well. It’s not an excuse, but certainly a reason that this blog has been a big neglected. I have been steadily working photography jobs but have been hit or miss with posting. In this constant sifting of priorities, I am sure that I mess it all up sometimes but as I remind my kids, “I am one person and I am doing the best I can.” I am thankful for this little corner of the internet where I can share my life and work! So without further ado…here’s what I confess today…

1. I confess that I don’t like time change. Even with the autumn “adding” an hour, it basically has just made my 3 year old away at 5:15 every day and we are all over it. I think the time change has added to my general exhaustion.

2. I have been awful at self care since we put our house on the market earlier this year. I am slowly getting back into better and consistent routines like workouts, reading, and sleep…sleep has been a hard one. I got a migraine on Saturday evening which I had felt coming because of the stress, lack of care for myself and lack of sleep. My body tells me when I need to take a step back from the stress and find ways to take care of myself.

3. I just hoped in on a reading plan with She Reads Truth on thankfulness that started today and I am looking forward to leading up to Thanksgiving week. Trying to focus my heart and mind on the right things first in the day, can help the rest to get done.

4. I got some questions about my hair yesterday so I thought that I would post here. First, thank the fall weather for the humidity going away! Lower humidity makes a huge difference in my hair type. The other tools contributing to good hair days are Aussie 3 minute miracle, heat protectant spray and my Hot Tools 1.5” gold curling iron. Use heat spray before the blow dry and using the 3 min miracle every few days is helping the condition of my hair after summer and color processing. Use the curling iron to curl away from face in a few inch sections. My favorite hair tutorial blogger is Kate Bryan at Small Things Blog.

5. It’s Veterans Day, which should give us all pause to thank a veteran in our lives. I am thankful for those who have protected our freedoms and been committed to preserving the lives we enjoy.

“Service is selflessness--the opposite of the lifestyle that we see so much of in America today. The things that entertain us don't often lift us up, or show us as the people we can rise up to become. The people who appear in this book--and others who did things I can't talk about--are my role models. They quietly live out the idea expressed in the Bible (John 15:13): "Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” 
― Marcus Luttrell, Service: A Navy SEAL at War

Here’s to Monday confessions being back in the rotation! What are some things you’d like to hear from me? HeHave a great week!

Monday Confessions, Summer of Moving

    Good morning internet friends, how's the heat wave treating you on this second day of July? As I sit and write, we are temporarily moved in with family as we await moving into our new home later this summer.  I can truly say I understand why people put moving right up there with grieving. It's exhausting both mentally and physically. We have everything in storage and will have to move again once it's time to settle on the new house. I am currently mentally preparing to have to do it all again! BUT I cannot say enough that I am so thankful that we sold our previous home very quickly and everything went smoothly. I am also extremely thankful that we have family willing to let us stay for the summer!  

   June was a blur but we were very lucky to escape to North Carolina for the first week of the month before we had to do the big move so I thought I would share a few of those images with you this morning. It's a sweet time for me to try to slow down time and reflect over all that is changing and growing this summer. For those that have followed me for a longer time, my twins turned 9 on Friday! It's amazing how the time passes and yet I am trying to live in the moment even in all the transition. Have a great week and stay cool! 

Monday Confessions, with Sadness

    It's with a heavy heart I share the news that Gianna passed from earth to heaven on Saturday night, surrounded by her family. I did not feel like this was coincidence as we all sat in church together yesterday morning crying and praying for her family. We were gathered as a church within hours of her passing. It's hard to explain, especially to all the kids who have been praying for her. She got her miracle and healing, but it just wasn't this side of heaven.

Oh what an ache her family will walk through in the days and weeks and years to come, noticing that empty seat at the table. So many would ask why would God allow this sweet little soul, a Chinese orphan with a literal broken heart, to come to know a forever family, only to be taken from them in such short years? I admit, I have wondered this myself. Her family has shown so much faith, even as they wrestled. They are now in mourning, yet it is not without hope. 

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34: 18

Gia's mom, Johanna, shared again today the long but beautiful story of Gia becoming a part of their family on her blog if you would like to read it. So it is with a heavenly perspective I will try to live out this week and be reminded that Gods ways are not our ways.

If you have been following the story and felt led to give to help with the extensive medical expenses, go here to do so.

Photo Cred: Gia's family 

Monday Confessions

   Hello friends, I know it has been a while and forgive me for that! I have found myself in the buys swirl of life with four young children and a business. How is spring treating you so far? I say spring, but it's basically felt like an eternal winter here in the Northeast but I digress. I thought it a good time to confess a few things about what's been going on with me lately! I'm starting today with a heart of gratitude, remembering that I have so many things that I once had only prayed for. 

1. If you've been following on Facebook, you've seen me share some posts on a sweet young girl from our church named Gia, who is still currently in the fight for her life in Boston Children's Hospital. If you are a person who prays, please lift her up if you can today. Lots of decisions being made in regards to next steps and her exhausted parents need our prayers! (This is on 3 weeks of being on life support and so many complications). 

Photo credit: Stephanie Leight 

2.  I confess that I have been trying to find a better routine/rhythm for workouts that just "whatever I can fit into the week." In all honesty though, I have basically just been trying to fit in at least 3 or 4 workouts a week but I know I need to do more to see results. I have been doing a mix of my old favorite T25, classes at the Y and running outside. What's been your favorite workout to keep you motivated lately?

3. I am SO late to the party but I have been watching episodes of Friday Night Lights and The Good Wife on Amazon prime. It's a good mix of high school football theme drama and an intriguing legal show..both serve as great shows to fold laundry to :) And now I totally get the "Tammy Taylor for President" vibe now! What are you watching these days?

4. I am starting the potty training process with my youngest and I feel like we are both half hearted about it but it's time to try. What worked best for you with potty training? 

5. I am trying to drink more water and am enjoying LaCroix. Are you a water drinker? How do you jazz it up so that you don't get sick of just plain H20? 

I hope you have a great week ahead!