Today is just one big confession, I can't do it all well. I came to this conclusion last night when it hit me around 9pm that we had entirely missed a party we had been invited to that day. The even sadder thing is that this EXACT same thing happened last month too with a good friend's sons birthday. I feel terrible when things like this happen, mostly because it's a glaring reminder that I really can't remember everything or do all things well. To even better prove my mess of a self, last Tuesday I went to an appointment an entire week early (which I also realized tonight looking at the calendar, the office was so polite they didn't even tell me!) Really?!
A sweet acquaintance and I were chatting a couple weeks ago at a social event and she said, "I really don't know how you do everything you do, I am impressed." I tried to shrink back and say, "Please don't be impressed, if one thing looks good, it means something else is entirely a mess." This is life for most moms, right?! If my house looks clean, our dinner is probably something easy. Or if I slammed out a ton of business one day, the house is most definitely a wreck. It's always a trade off for me, and missing a party that we would've loved to attend is just a reminder to me that I need to step back, slow down, and pay attention.
This is part of a bigger theme in my life right now. I just finished reading, Hands Free Mama, by Rachel Macy Stafford. The book has so many sections and thoughts that challenged me. Here's her blog description and it definitely sums up a lot of what I have been feeling!
Her book challenged me on so many levels. I confirmed that I am a total productivity and device addict. While productivity addiction can serve a purpose while running my own businesses, it can create a disconnect in my family life. I need to learn to push away distraction, let go of perfectionist ideals, slow down and grab onto what really matters. I saw a photo tonight of right before Max was born. I was looking at the faces of two almost 2 year olds in a stroller, struggling to remember. So much of that part of my life is a blur in my memory. I am sure we all feel this to a degree but it's pushing me to live more intentionally now. I don't want to look back and not remember, or be trying to remember so many things on a daily basis, that I forget what is important (like relationships, friends and their parties….to my friends, bear with me while I get it together!)
And to any of you that are reading this that are a client of mine, don't be appalled. Just remember I will still capture your memories and attempt to create beautiful albums and galleries in a timely manner. I am letting you peek behind the curtain, so to speak, to let you know that I am human. I am a photographer and entrepreneur, but also a wife and mama. If you are in my Beach Body gang, don't worry….I am so sore from Friday and Saturdays workouts that my body won't let me forget it!
I am just figuring out how to make it all work, although I can't do it all perfectly. There might be a day or two that you see me still in workout clothes chasing a toddler. Just know that on that day, I chose my health and my family over my appearance. Or maybe there's a day you see me looking so put together and think "how is she doing it all?" but really just imagine me accidentally sticking my hand in my toddlers poo (like I did this past Friday morning). I am always going to be a hard worker and a "type A" on some levels, but I am a work in progress. I am working on keeping priorities in their place and trying to do better!
(**If you've read Hands Free Mama, what are your take aways?)