Dec 31, Confessions at the closing of the year

I keep seeing all these posts like “all the books I read this year” or “the best of my photography” or “what I have learned this decade” or heaven forbid that “ten-year challenge” photo post that keeps circulating. I don’t want to see the ten-year challenge, because if I am honest I don’t necessarily want to see how old and tired I look. The truth is, ten years ago I had 6-month-old twins in the midst of a bittersweet season. The sweet was the children but the bitter was so much more with complicated relationships and deeply struggling finances that led to the short-sale of our first home. Sometimes you don’t want to peek back into a time or place in your life that you remember had so much heart ache, even along with the joys and the ways that God provided. 

  All these posts by other people just have me wishing I was MORE…more organized, more talented, more on top of business, more on top of parenting…or even the post last week that had me guilty for DAYS for allowing my children to believe in Santa.  I am serious, I questioned whether my decision to allow them to believe in Santa would somehow ruin their faith. Crazy, right? Tell me that’s crazy. But this is the reality of the 24/7 internet culture when we constantly allow for others voices and opinions in our heads.

     Here’s the thing, I daily look around and think I should be doing more…yet I cannot possibly do more than I already do. I see the socks I have washed, the meals I make, the emails I return, the photos I take, the counters I wipe, the kids papers I sign, the homework I help with, the students I taught…and all those countless small tasks that fill up our days. I am here to say, if you find yourself here with me, it’s OK to be right where you are. So I don’t have a beautiful, thoughtful post on what 2019 was or wasn’t to me?!  I don’t have my favorite top ten photos from the year to share with you. I don’t have 5 points on what this year taught me. I don’t have all the miles I ran accounted for or even a solid book list of what I have read (why is using something like Goodreads so hard for me?!). I don’t even have an exact calculation but I have done something like at least 700 loads of laundry in the last 365 days. I have also made countless meals, given countless hugs, prayed countless prayers and stayed steadfast in hope. I really have struggled with consistency in areas that I would love to be more consistent in, even this very blog, for example!

The final month of this year will definitely stay with me. I had a small health scare which jolted me into the realities of what really matters. Don’t worry, I am fine (Praise God!!) but walking through the open doors of a cancer center holding Matt’s hand had a way of laser focusing on what is important in my life. All these roles I play are different ways I use my gifts and fulfill my purpose. These small things I do every day are the things that make up a life. If I get to go greater work, then that’s just icing on the cake. Looking forward to 2020, I know I need to take better care of myself both body and spirit. I can’t allow the “shoulds” of life to dictate my days. 

  A few clear highlights for me of 2019 were some beautiful weddings I was a part of capturing and officiating my first wedding ever in November. I captured many families and even met Joe Biden this year. I can’t say that I have met a Vice President before! A big family highlight was adding a furry family member, Nellie, to our home. Here’s a few favorite images of the kids and the dog from the end of the year session in the woods. Wishing you health and happiness in 2020!

A visit to Yale

Earlier this summer I had a wedding to photograph in Connecticut and that allowed for one morning of exploring in New Haven. I had always wanted to see Yale because of it’s gorgeous architectural history, as well as its prestige. Also, let’s be honest, any Gilmore Girls fans from the early 2000s who had imagined themselves there on campus with Rory, want to see Yale in person. It definitely lived up to it’s reputation because it was gorgeous building after gorgeous building. The details and views were stunning. I felt the history there just walking around. We also had a delightful breakfast at Atticus Books, which holds a combination of a few of my favorite things. They had books, coffee and food! Yum! Here are just a few of the views I photographed that day. I hope to get back another time to experience the art museum, we just were out of time!

“…And truth shall set me free” is the inscription here

The library is so stately!

“For God For Country and For Yale.”

Fall Family Photo Sessions, the J Family

It’s not a secret that photographers are busy in the fall with family photos. The combination of the pleasant weather with the impending holiday season, makes for good motivation for updating those family portraits! I have to say though, i am honored by the families that book an annual session with me. I get to watch the kids grow up before my lens and keep the connection of making the family memories each year. I realize this is a huge commitment and investment, therefore making me grateful for those client relationships. The J family has come to me every year since their daughter was 1 and the privilege is not lost on me! I adore how this session turned out.

November, National Adoption Month

“Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale.” - Lauren Distefano, Wither

I agree with the above sentiment, that not only is fall lovely but in November, we turn a corner and watch the rest of the year start drawing to a close. As a family and wedding photographer, I am involved in so many memory making moments in the fall.

Today I am sharing with you a beautiful family brought together through adoption. November is also National Adoption month, a month set aside to raise awareness about the urgent need for adoptive families for children and youth in foster care. So thankful for families like this one that openly share their love for the kiddos and the adoption community!

Monday Confessions, When You Feel Like You're Not Enough

I read a “funny” meme recently that really did make me laugh, but it was because of the underlying truth of being a mother in 2019. The only thing is, it really wasn’t that funny because it held so much truth! Here it is…

I even feel like they actually left off a few things like be thin and fit, as well as decorating and keeping a Pinterest worthy styled home. Make sure your car is clean and “you don’t let them see you sweat.” Make sure you have “me time” and “date night” and everything else under the sun. Make sure your kids have magical holidays and clean clothes and dinners that cover all the food groups….we could play this game all day!

This is an exhausting list of expectations right? I have four kids, which is exponentially harder some days. I am spanning age ranges from 10 down to 4, so I have to have discussions about appropriate internet usages with some while still praying the youngest will make it to the potty on time. I have kids in 3 different schools and on a week like this week with a holiday, you better believe the reminders on my phone are set for all different things from where I have to bring lemonade, to who has the field trip, and when they can wear the costume to school! It’s both mentally and physically exhausting, am I right? You add in any kind of career or work on top of all this and you have the potential to feel defeated before your feet hit the floor.

I have some hope though, if you’re feeling like you’re not enough today, because you ARE enough. Your value doesn’t lie in what you do or even the kids you raise, it lies in WHO you are. You are a precious, God-created person who has value just in being. There is even more hope for the believer in Jesus. Our church is going through daily bible devotionals written by all different church members, old, young and in between. Today’s verse was, “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises…” You can full stop on that verse. You have been CHOSEN and given everything you need for a godly life, through Jesus. God also gives us great and precious promises! What a great reminder as we start another week, tempted to feel like we are not enough or not doing enough. You ARE ENOUGH!

(I am coming off a very full and tiring weekend, so forgive any run on sentences or incorrect grammar this morning!)

Sneak Peek, Fall Family Photos

Clients booking me every fall for an annual session has been such a gift! The first time I met little H, she had just turned one and now she's a lovely third grader! It's sweet to help chronicle a family's annual photos. I have select dates left in November if you are still looking to book a family session or get in that Christmas card shot! Drop me an email, emily@emilytroutmanphoto.com for availability and pricing

October Art

Well it was 94 degrees yesterday here on the East coast so it definitely didn’t feel like fall! Overnight though, it dropped 20 degrees and it’s finally raining on the dry earth! I am slowing down a bit today to appreciate the fullness of life and the changing of a season. Here’s a link to these gorgeous fall free printable if you need some inexpensive beauty to add to your home today!

I am still booking for limited dates from now until Christmas, so please feel free to contact me for pricing and availability for this autumn season! emily@emilytroutmanphoto.com

Monday Confessions, September Favorite Things

As I write this, the sun has not yet come up on this September morning. We are starting our third full week back into the school season and so far, so good! I thought that I would just share a few recent favorite things with you as today’s confessions!

1. Pumpkin Cream Cold brew at Starbucks. Have you tried this yet? It’s great because it’s the pumpkin flavor without the overwhelming spice and it’s also icy, which is nice because it’s still going to be about 90 degrees today here in DE.

2. Yellowstone TV Show with Kevin Costner: We are hooked on this show! It’s a story of a Montana ranch owner and quite a few dysfunctional family members and ranch hands. The setting is gorgeous and the drama is over the top but it makes for a great show, along with a great sound track!

3. Whiskey Myers Music: This one comes right from the Yellowstone show, because the bland played an epidote in bar scene and now I can’t stop listening on Spotify! If you love southern rock, this is a great listen for you.

4. OPI Funny Bunny nail color: This white nail color is the perfect every day neutral before we get into the darker and deeper colors of fall.

5. Inexpensive & awesome sunglasses at Amazon: These have been a favorite for the second half of the summer with the mirrored lenses and light weight frames. I do have more expensive pairs of polarized sunglasses for days at the beach and long days outside, but these are perfect for just running around!

I hope you have a great week ahead and that September is treating you well!

Monday Confessions, A Photographer's Perspective

I started back to teaching today at the community college and know many other schools start today as well. I know it’s Tuesday, but feels like Monday after the holiday weekend. I told a family member this week that we are limping into fall…one kid is literally limping with a sprained ankle and the rest of us figuratively are limping with exhaustion. It’s a different kind of tired because summer has had no sort of routine. It has been a full summer both in life and business.

Saturday morning I was sipping coffee from my “blessed” Rae Dunn mug and it hit me as I scanned the photo galleries I shot this summer. These are truly people’s lives we get to capture. I realized that this sounds a bit trite, but it’s true nonetheless. I looked at the four marriages we witnessed, the students heading into their senior year, the families who welcomed new babies, families with multiple generations finally together in one spot, or the other special milestones like communion and moving on ceremonies. I even photographed one presidential candidate alongside the sweet older man who mentored him in politics, and who we have since lost to heaven. When a family sends a note saying, “these photos are worth more to us than any money,” it’s a reminder to me of the value of what I do.

I have captured all these things and more this summer, along with raising four kids and one growing puppy. This all might explain my tiredness, but it aligns with my desire to pause time. In a way, photographers get this privilege, to actually pause time in frames. We get to create physical reminders of people and moments. This is a gift I don’t want to take lightly as I head into a new season!

What a better symbol for a new season than a butterfly? Over the last few weeks I have seen quite a few gorgeous butterflies while I have been out on shoots. I hope you have a great week ahead!

Senior Photos, Middletown, DE

As summer winds down and thankfully starts to cool off some, it gets us all thinking of fall. If you know or have a student heading into his or her senior year of high school, I am offering late summer and fall photo sessions for seniors. I know many schools offer options but this is a bit more personalized. I had the chance to photograph my sweet younger cousin this past week as she gets ready to head off to her senior year at her school overseas! We had to outrun a wicked thunder and lightning storm so we had to work quickly! She is as kindhearted as she is beautiful and I know she’s going to do great things out in the world!

Beautiful Summer Bride

It’s August over here and I am hanging on for the ride with a busy wedding month, the kids still trying to savor the rest of summer and me trying to find a balance! Here’s a sneak peak of the gorgeous bride from the wedding I am working on editing today. I am now booking for family fall photo sessions, emily@emilytroutmanphoto.com for pricing and availability for fall!

Traveling

We are away this week but hit the ground running with a full month of weddings in August! Wishing I could bottle the "fresh off the beach" feeling. Here's a sunset view looking over the Assawoman Bay for you to enjoy! Hope your summer is treating you well!

Monday Confessions, We got a puppy

We have been hearing the “mom, can we get a dog?” for a few years, basically since we had to say goodbye to our other dog, Dozer. We had so many good excuses like “wait until we move” or “we need Benji to be a little older” or really any other reasons to push it off a little bit until we were ready again. Fast forward to this spring when Matt & I begun seriously exploring options. We put a deposit on the pup through a breeder connection we had and hoped that having a puppy for summer would be a good fit. Kids are all home to help and bond with the pup, as well as the outside potty training didn’t seem as bad in summer as it could in the chill of winter!

So we find ourselves in the thick of trying to house train her and keep her from biting off all the kids fingers and toes! And yes, she is as fluffy and snuggly as she looks! Please welcome Nellie to the Emily Troutman Photo family :)

Photo Credit on these images: Matthew Troutman

Sweet Summertime, Wilmington, DE

“Perfect song on the radio
Sing along 'cause it's one we know
It's a smile, it's a kiss
It's a sip of wine, it's summertime
Sweet summertime” ~Kenny Chesney

I first got to photograph this family when little B was just 6 months old. He’s now a busy 2 year old and with a sweet baby sister. We met up on a beautiful summer evening with a breeze to capture a few sweet memories for this family on Father’s Day weekend! We got some great moments with daddy and each of his kiddos!

I am still booking certain dates for summer, email me today for availability emily@emilytroutmanphoto.com

Monday Confessions, on a Tuesday

Hey there internet friends! I am working hard on getting back into my Monday Confessions series. It’s a great place for me to keep up with all of you in between photography posts. I hope all of you find your summer off to a great start. We have hit the ground running with an out-of state wedding the first weekend the kids done school and then traveled to the shore for part of last week in between photo jobs.

I have to say that I am daily wrestling between the need to try to enjoy my kids and to get work done in this busy season. My kids keep saying their really annoying SpongeBob quote, “the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” I laugh because these confessions are basically sharing the “inner machinations of my mind!” SO there you go, Patrick and SpongeBob can be deep right?! (Insert kid humor because that’s where I am living these days!)

1. I am hooked on Annie F Downs Podcast That Sounds Fun, because it is the summer of the Enneagram. Have you heard of this personality typing yet? What number are you? I would love to hear from those of you also learning about the enneagram. I definitely recommend these episodes, which will take a “number” or personality type for each episode and break it down. It’s not only so helpful with learning your own heart, but also in relating to those around you. It can really help explain motivations and fears. Start here with Suzanne Stabile and her explanations in this episode!

2. I confess that in seasons when we are all too busy, we are grumpy. Does this happen to you too? May was truly an insane schedule for our family with little time off for anything and both the kids and grown ups were feeling down. How do you build in some rest or put guards on your schedule? I think it’s especially hard when you work for yourself (insert my personality type that thrives on trying to get things done.)

3. I confess that the older I get, the more I despise how other people drive. Is that weird? Can anyone relate? I have been watching so many aggressive driving behaviors lately on the roads and I am like “hello, can you not see me trying to safely drive my 4 children here?!”

4. We have been big on BLT sandwiches for dinners lately. It’s perfect for summer with the fresh tomatoes and an easy dinner that doesn’t heat up your whole kitchen (unless you fill your entire house with smoke like i did last time…burnt bacon smell, delicious!! Haha) Anyhow, I would like to share the game changer when I made the herb mayo from the Magnolia Cookbook . Here’s the recipe below from Magnolia Blog, enjoy!

   Creamy Herb Dressing

   ingredients
   1 cup mayonnaise (or 1 cup plain greek yogurt)
   1 cup chopped fresh basil leaves
   1 cup chopped fresh chives or green onion
   1 tbsp fresh flat-leafed parsley
   1 tbsp fresh chopped tarragon
   1 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (2 lemons)
   2 cloves chopped garlic
   1 tsp ground black pepper

   1 tsp salt
   1 cup sour cream

   instructions
   In a food processor or blender, combine all ingredients (except the sour cream) until smooth. Add sour cream and process until blended. If not using immediately, refrigerate the dressing until ready to serve. Store in refrigerator up to 3 days. (This dressing can be made the day before. Just cover and chill.) Yields: 2 cups

5. I met Robin Roberts briefly at the Phillies Game last Wednesday! How fun is it to meet someone in person who shows up every morning on your tv screen? I have admired how she has handled a lot of things, including sickness, publicly.

H Family Siblings

“Children of the same family, the same blood, with the same first associations and habits, have some means of enjoyment in their power, which no subsequent connections can supply.” – Jane Austen

Jane Austen is more eloquent but it basically means that siblings have the power to be your oldest friend and ally on earth. I know on days that when raising four kids feels impossible, I am reminded of this sentiment. These kids will always have each other!

This is another reason I love the opportunity for a good sibling photo session. This fun session had to be rescheduled due to weather a couple times but we lucked out on a gorgeous late spring afternoon and Bob the family dog even joined us! I enjoyed their easy laughter and family connection. Handsome little brother just turned 10 yesterday, so happy birthday buddy! Enjoy!

Monday Confessions, Podcast Roundup

If you have talked to me in person at all recently, you’ve probably heard me utter the words, “I heard on a podcast…” and then fill you in on some kind of wisdom from household tips to interesting spiritual input. Podcasts are such a fun, modern way to engage in media. I equate podcasts to radio shows, but you can choose the theme or topic. There are SO MANY different good ones though and I am sure that I will BARELY scratch the surface here, but here’s a handful of podcasts that I check into regularly or have found helpful.

If you aren’t sure how to even listen to a podcast, look for this application on your apple phone and you can get started from there! You can search and listen. If you have bluetooth in your car, you can listen through your phone. I listen to podcasts during my drive time or exercise time mostly.

Happy Our with Jamie Ivey: I often joke that this show was the gateway drug into other podcasts. Jamie Ivey’s show is by women and for women (with a rare episode including men). It’s a faith based show that weaves in the faith story of each person she interviews. She interviews everyone from very famous and well known women, all the way to women who have just survived something incredible or awful …and how they come through on the other side with their faith in tact. I have listened tothi’s show for year and the stories have stayed with me. It is an hour episode usually. so plan accordingly. She always ends the interview with three things she is loving and what she’s reading. I love that part too and have found some awesome book and goods recommendations from that list! This includes my current manicure, a recommendation from last week’s episode!

The Dropout from ABC news: It’s based on the Elizabeth Holmes tale involving her scheme to prove to the world she had the newest technology on blood drawing. Season 1 has 6 episodes and it walks us through how this young woman goes from Stanford dropout to running billion dollar company. (If you liked Serial or other true crime, this will be up your alley).

The Daily: New York Times puts on these short 20 minute episodes of the latest news and popular stories. As a mom, it can be hard to get timely news and information. If I just want to hear the short version of recent hot topics in the news, this is a great way to listen.

Behind the Scenes with Jeremy & Audrey Roloff: These two were made well know from the Little People, Big World reality tv show, but their podcast is focused on marriage. I have only listened to a few but so far so good! This podcast is also faith based so they bring that element into the marriage conversation, which I appreciate. There can be heavy topics but I also find it encouraging that such a young couple is so pro-marriage!

Young House Love has a Podcast: This is about all things interiors and sometimes just fun chats. It’s full of casual decorating ideas and DIY advice. Sherry and John Petersik are the married couple that started the Young House Love blog over a decade ago and have influenced so many in recent years on what it means to be at home. The latest episode is “the most high inducing DIY projects among couples” - so who can’t relate?!

In the Word on the Go with Champ Thornton: This is a short and simple bible focused show around ten minutes per episode, focusing on one verse at a time. It really just breaks down a verse and not only what it means in context but what it has meant to the person being interviewed on the episode. If you’re trying to find more ways to get in scripture on your own, or even with your kids, this is such a great, short podcast for that!

The Lazy Genius: I am newer to this series but I am finding them super helpful. I actually listened to the laundry episode twice and am contemplating on listening to the morning routine episode again as well. I am trying to bring in some streamlining to processes in my life and that’s exactly what this podcast is about. She talks about processes and home care topics. Her tagline is, “Be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't.” It’s sort of like grown up life hacks :)

Meeting Joe Biden

Last week I had a phone call that changed my week. I was contacted by a family who was holding a small ceremony to honor their father/grandfather for his service to both the country and the world, as his health is failing. He served faithfully in WWII and then came home to serve locally in his hometown in Delaware. Part of his Delaware connections and influences included Joe Biden. This connection with Biden had survived the decades, which is why it was touching to the family that Biden wanted to attend the pinning ceremony for their family member. I want to protect their privacy at a sensitive time but I wanted to share a few images of getting to meet and photograph Biden last week, especially considering him announcing his run for the presidency this morning.

Biden is very warm and personable, which explains his popularity through the decades. He joked with me about photographers being the only ones all over the world to “boss around” world leaders and they have to listen. He also teased that whenever photographers say “just a few more shots,” that we are never telling the truth. It made me laugh and brought levity to the moment when I felt a little under pressure.

He also shared something his mother used to say that stuck with me. She apparently used to say something to the effect of, “courage is the most important virtue because without courage, none of the rest of the virtues will matter.” I can imagine that advice served him well in life, when things got tough or odds seemed impossible. He has survived much loss in his lifetime and yet continues in public service. Although I wouldn’t necessarily politically align myself with a lot of his stances, I certainly was drawn to his person and character. It will give me a lot to ponder heading into the voting booth in November 2020.

I am thinking on all of this today, after visiting the U.S. Constitution center in Philadelphia yesterday. I have to say, it’s a powerful place. It reminded me yet again of the brilliance and beauty of our system of government. It reminded me of the continued fight for equality among U.S. citizens and a striving from those very early days of our nation to create a strong central government, while protecting personal freedoms. The opening lines of the constitution are so powerful and lay out the purpose of our federal government, “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity…” May we all consider these words as we work toward that more perfect union and work together to bring about things such as justice and domestic tranquility.

*images cropped to protect privacy*

Signing copies of his book Promise Me Dad

K & J Engaged, Odessa, DE

“So sweet love seemed that April morn. When first we kissed beside the thorn, So strangely sweet, it was not strange We thought that love could never change.” ~ Robert Bridges

Here’s to a sweet spring engagement session! Looking forward to their June 8 wedding in Connecticut!

My visit to Notre Dame Cathedral, September 2018

““And if you wish to receive of the ancient city an impression with which the modern one can no longer furnish you, climb--on the morning of some grand festival, beneath the rising sun of Easter or of Pentecost--climb upon some elevated point, whence you command the entire capital; and be present at the wakening of the chimes. Behold, at a signal given from heaven, for it is the sun which gives it, all those churches quiver simultaneously. First come scattered strokes, running from one church to another, as when musicians give warning that they are about to begin. Then, all at once, behold!--for it seems at times, as though the ear also possessed a sight of its own,--behold, rising from each bell tower, something like a column of sound, a cloud of harmony. First, the vibration of each bell mounts straight upwards, pure and, so to speak, isolated from the others, into the splendid morning sky; then, little by little, as they swell they melt together, mingle, are lost in each other, and amalgamate in a magnificent concert. It is no longer anything but a mass of sonorous vibrations incessantly sent forth from the numerous belfries; floats, undulates, bounds, whirls over the city, and prolongs far beyond the horizon the deafening circle of its oscillations.

Nevertheless, this sea of harmony is not a chaos; great and profound as it is, it has not lost its transparency; you behold the windings of each group of notes which escapes from the belfries. ” 
― Victor Hugo, The Hunchback of Notre-Dame

Side view of Notre Dame from down on the bank of the Siene

The view out my window, right over my bed. Every afternoon a violinist would play right there in the shadows of the cathedral.

Early morning light

View in between towers

Some of the famed gargoyles and statues

The spire that fell in yesterday’s fire

A gargoyle’s view of Paris

The bells in the bell tower

Of course “Our Lady” is just as stunning at night!

Yesterday evening, a spark grew into a flame and forever changed the facade of Notre Dame, “Our Lady,” Cathedral in Paris, France. She has seen a lot of human events in her over 800 years of existence, some of which marred her. My hope is that the fire, although drastically changing her, will not forever damage her. Her history is linked to those like Joan of Arc, Henry VI of England, and Napoleon Bonaparte. Napoleon is said to have revived much of the cathedral, as well as Paris, after being in disrepair . So much beauty and history exists in this same place. It’s often a spiritual place for people of the Christian faith from all over the world. It stands near “kilometer zero” of the French highways, meaning it is the literal center of things.

I am just thankful that I got to see it this past September in the form that it has stood in for so many hundreds of years. When I studied in Italy one summer in college, a professor told us the saying that the church was central to every life in Europe, considered a part of “birth, life and death.” A church was where you were baptized at birth, you celebrated things like marriage in life and then of course, held a funeral at your death. We can look at Notre Dame and think about the many lives it was a part of. We will have to look at this fire as the beginning of the next chapter for her and see what lies ahead. I know many will join the efforts to restore and support the revitalization. The thing about Notre Dame is that it took over 300 years to complete in the first place, so those who embarked on starting the cathedral never saw the finished product. It took a work of faith to build something that one would not see in his lifetime.