Monday Confessions, Reading in 2021

We have officially made it to 2021! Happy New Year! I had a few minutes last week to reflect on what I read in 2020. I confess there was a time when the pandemic first hit that I found it very hard to focus and to read. I know many experienced this struggle as well. When I looked over what I read in 2020, I made it through the entire Bible cover to cover and I was surprised to find that I actually read 33 entire books in 2020 (a few others I started but didn’t finish.) It’s funny though because I had forgotten about a couple that I read in early 2020 before coronavirus. It feels like everything in my memory right now is split between pre-pandemic living and pandemic living! I am sure many of you feel the same way.

I get asked all the time how do I “find time” to read and I really just tell people that it’s like anything else, we have to make time. I think the best way to get back into the habit of reading is in the evening before bed, instead of scrolling on your phone, put a book or two on your nightstand! I promise even 10-15 minutes of reading each night will get you through a book.

So what are my favorites of my 2020 reads?

In fiction reading, I really liked the Dutch House by Ann Patchett and American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins. They were really different stories but both excellent characters and writing. The Dutch House was a classic style novel based through decades of a family’s story but set all around a specific house. American Dirt was a very timely novel about what forces a family to attempt to immigrate to the United States. It’s an unsuspectingly powerful read, written with so many details that bring you right into the story. The characters and narrative in this one will stay with you, but I definitely had trouble reading this one at night (I had bad dreams about Mexican cartels!). It’s not a light read in any way and in fact, highlights many of the plights and dangers for those trying to flee their homeland. I definitely recommend it though!

Two other novels I really liked in 2020 were The Giver of Stars by JoJo Moyes and Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid. The Giver of Stars is historical fiction set in the Appalachian mountains with the pack horse librarians. Daisy Jones and the six is the tale of a 70s rock band in California, which is literally about “sex, drugs and rock n roll” in no certain order.

As for non fiction, of course reading through the entire bible was a major challenge but I would say also a highlight. This is something that I have attempted before but not made it all the way through in chronological order. This type of reading plan does take significant commitment but it really was worth it, especially in the year of 2020. I have been asked quite a few times about this plan and go here to find out how to start! There’s an app for the plan and then the related podcasts in your podcast app. I also really found encouragement in Gentle and Lowly, by Dane Ortlund, talking about the heart of Christ. It’s honestly one of those books I could probably read yearly because I need the reminders so much of Christ’s love and character.

SO here’s to a fresh start in 2021 for so many things! I got on the scale this morning and the verdict is way worse than I thought! Today is a good day to start fresh, get moving and plan out some reading for 2021. Have a great week my friends!

Monday Confessions, End of 2020, We made it

It’s funny, I found myself thinking about new year’s eve last year and thinking about how we had no clue what was coming for us in 2020. There was all this hopeful “dawn of a new decade” talk and no such anticipation of the challenges that would come. In the same way, we don’t know what 2021 holds but most of us are hopeful that it has to be better than the last 12 months! We have ALL been affected by the pandemic either directly with sickness or through the economic struggles or even the shut downs of vital things, like schools. Parents of school aged children have felt this year acutely in so many ways, especially if you’re a working parent trying to school your children as well.

I probably won’t write anything here that hasn’t already been said but I think maybe the biggest silver lining of 2020 has been slowing down and spending so much time as a family. This has also been a part of the struggle of 2020, but what this year has shown us is that life truly does go on. Even with nothing on the calendar, our days have still been so full! We have grown as a family and our kids have grown and changed an entire years’ worth, even if it looks really different than previous years. I would’ve never imagined on New Year’s Eve that I would start a new job this year, have a kindergartner learning virtually or that I would lose my beloved grandmother. It’s been a mix of blessings and hardships for sure. So much of daily life changed but it has allowed us all to take stock in what matters and what will persevere when other things fade away. It’s been hard to accept that things are really, really different but I just keep trying to embrace all the feelings, while taking it one day at a time. What’s your silver lining of 2020? What has been getting you through?

My biggest daily job is raising my kids, so here’s some updated images I took of them one fall afternoon full of threats and negotiations. I have one child that has no individual images and barely any nice smiles in any photos because he’s 9 and I am apparently asking too much. My oldest two are looking more like teenagers every day, although thankfully we are still about 18 months off from that milestone. My sweet “baby” Benji is a baby no more. This year has changed us all so much. We didn’t do any full family photos because really, who needs to see me aging?! (Kidding, sort of, but it was too hard to schedule in and figure out).

I keep coming back to this Emily Dickinson quote, that even though there may be many harbors for us in 2020 (thankfully!), it does not change the sea or the storm. Hopeful for more peace in 2021!

“I hope that you have power,

and as much of peace as in our deep

existence may be possible.

To multiply the harbors does not reduce the sea. “

~Emily Dickinson

Monday Confessions, Advent 2020

If there ever was a year we needed some good news, it’s this year, right?! The season of advent started just yesterday. If you aren’t familiar, Advent is the traditional season of counting down to Christmas, awaiting the birth of Jesus. It’s a time to both reflect on things and look forward with the hope to come. There are so many amazing options out there in the world for reading and listening to advent plans, so I am going to give you just a few right here in case you’re interested!

Reading: She Reads Truth for the ladies or He Reads Truth for the men. Each reading plan includes bible readings for the day and then a short devotional thought to go along with. They each also usually include an image to save to your phone or share to social media. The images serve as great reminders throughout the day!

Listening: We Wonder Podcast is for the whole family! There’s a daily podcast about 10-15 minutes. Each day will have a central scripture, thoughts and prayers.

Music: Shadow and Light playlist, compiled by Tsh Oxenrider to accompany her new advent themed book, Shadow and Light. I have not yet gotten this book but it sounds great! I think the music is more contemplative than fun/jolly Christmas music, but it’s hope filled all the same! Another new album by great artists is Hope Has a Name by Passion.

May you be blessed in this season by the coming of the light, even though it truly feels like we are in darkness!

“The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
a light has dawned.” ~Isaiah 9:1

Monday Confessions, Where have I been?

“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.” ~Albert Camus

Well we’ve made it to November in an extremely hard year. Where have I been you ask? Well for starters, I took on a new full time teaching job. Many of you that have hung around here long enough know that I previously taught part-time at the local community college here in DE and I adored that position. I absolutely loved engaging adults in the art and craft of photography. I had been doing that almost 9 years when an opportunity presented itself as an art position at a local elementary school, which I accepted when it was offered to me. I am sure the craziness of getting hired during a pandemic via zoom interviews and calls will never leave me. I am also sure that the difficulty of starting a new position in such a difficult year in education might explain quite a few of my new gray hairs. My new position, along with an extremely challenging parenting season (my kids have been learning from home since early September and just recently went back into the classroom 2 days a week), have left me quite quiet here on my blog! It’s not that I haven’t been photographing things, it’s quite the opposite. October was a very busy photography month for me and November looks to be busy as well.

I am truly taking it one day at a time right now, and sometimes it’s just hour by hour, my friends. The best description I can give anyone when they ask me how I am doing is “like an internet browser with too many tabs open and the connection is slow.” My brain just does not have enough categories to compute everything going on in our daily lives, as well as our country and world at large. I know MANY of us feel this way with the 8 or more months of living in a pandemic alone. The stress and struggle is real. If you add in a significant loss, like losing my grandmother in August and the residual grief and tasks related to that, overwhelm is a constant feeling. Also considering I am in a new position in education at an extremely challenging time, there are days that I just feel like I can’t manage. It’s also a time when parenting and trying to help four children learn at home could alone make me feel like I am drowning. I am not sharing all this to call for any pity, but I am sharing this as an act of solidarity. If you find yourself in overwhelm, know that you aren’t alone.

I am not going to offer any platitudes for you today, as many are floating on the internet. I just wanted to let you know where I am and what I have been doing. I hope to share some recent sessions in the weeks to come!

Monday Confessions, A few Recent Reads

It’s the first Monday in August of 2020, are you feeling glass half-full or half-empty at this point? I confess I am definitely at the half-empty phase of 2020. One thing though that has helped me some with surviving in this crazy coronavirus world is to keep reading! Quoting the great advocate of literacy Elenanor Roosevelt, “The greatest luxury I know is sitting up in bed reading.” Don’t miss out on the joy and escape of diving into a good book!

1. The Lager Queen of Minnesota by J. Ryan Stradal was a great summer read. It’s a story of a family over time, specifically women and how their worlds intertwined with the world of brewing beer over a couple of generations. I think a lot about this story set in the mid-west reminded me of the work ethic expected in that part of our country, as well as the commitment to family. There are some fun surprises along the way! Definitely recommend.

2. Giver of Stars by JoJo Moyes was another very enjoyable read. This story set in Appalachia in the days of the pack horse librarians is full of relationships, trials and adventures. The setting of the rural Kentucky hills is all new territory for the main character who arrives as the new bride of a well known son of business owner in their small town. There were some answers I kept wanting that I never got in some instances but you definitely find yourself rooting for the main female characters and the ending was not a disappointment! Definitely recommend this one!

3. The Sea Wife by Amity Gaige was a good adventure story intertwined with some poignant writing about life, love, grief and loss. The basic premise is a family of four embarking on a year of sailing, while letting go of their suburban Connecticut existence. You know early on in the book that the sailing adventure did not end well. This book is written from the current voice of the wife and the journals from the husband. It does jump back and forth both in time and voice, so if that bothers you that this one might not be for you. I think there were lots of moments of really beautiful writing in this story but I have to say, the overall arc of the story wasn’t the best, in my opinion. I can’t say more without giving too much away but this is a good summer read. I can’t say this is a must read, but it’s a decent read.

Monday Confessions, Out of Steam

We are starting week 7 of quarantine if my count is correct and things here in Delaware are getting worse, not better. We got the news this week that school is out for the year and there’s been a steady climb in coronavirus cases, instead of a decrease. This is all extremely discouraging, because it means we are going to be in this isolation for a while. I feel like I am all out of steam. That motivation and optimism I had at the beginning of this is waning. I found a little empathy from a line in an old poem earlier this week so I thought I might share.

“April is the cruellest month, breeding

Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain. “

~T.S. Eliot, The Wasteland

I always thought that was a sad way to look at April, but now it makes sense. T.S. Eliot wrote this famous poem during struggles with depression and insomnia, among other things. He wasn’t looking at spring as hopeful, which most of us tend to do. We tend to see spring as the rebirth, the new life springing forth from the cold dormancy of winter. Eliot is writing here that hopeful spring is in contrast to what he’s feeling in his despair.

I can relate a bit to those feelings this year. As a mom and a photographer, May is usually a busy but great month for me. This year, I don’t have any work to look forward to or any of my kiddos events and celebrations. I am also trying to finish strong a semester of teaching and doing “crisis school” with my four children. This is not only hard on my spirits, but extremely hard financially as well with no photo work.

It’s hard to take it all in, knowing that others are suffering so much worse. The heaviness of the COVID 19 pandemic is taking a toll on everyone. I just want you to know it’s entirely OK if you are feeling heavy hearted. We are all handling this differently , so there’s no one right way. Make sure that if you feel acute emotional pain or depression, call a friend! The stress of this season could really impact anyone already struggling. We know we will get through this season together!

Monday Confessions, Spring in Quarantine

Good Morning internet friends, how are you holding up? By my calculations, we are starting week 5 in “quarantine” status or shelter-in-home, or whatever your state is currently calling it. The weather here is so awful right now that I am thankful to not have to actually leave. The wind and rain is whipping against the house and it’s supposed to last all day.

I took a few minutes this weekend to appreciate some spring scenery along the Brandywine River, after I made a few Easter deliveries to family up north. It’s hard to both feel the current state of everything in the world and yet see spring blooming outside my window. I wanted to just take a few minutes alone to appreciate the beauty still unfolding outside. I missed the peak of the trees around the fountain but it was still lovely, nonetheless. The history of this park is interesting, as it was “established in 1886, it is the largest urban park in DE, and much like Central Park, owes its origin to the late 19th century “Natural Landscape Movement” of landscape architect Frederick Law Olmstead. The Park fulfilled the need for public recreational space within a larger urban environment.” It’s definitely worth a visit and I took all of these images while on a 2 mile jog.

I should also say that really my confessions today are actually just survival tips! I know everyone is throwing in their opinions on what to do to make the most of this strange season but thought I would share mine too. I mostly though am finding sanity and solace in exercise, the outdoors, and my faith. Of course my family are a huge part of my daily rhythms, but these other 3 things are my literal sanity these days, because even in a pandemic scenario, all those three things are still possible! I hope you have a good week ahead!

All Images shot on iPhone 11.

Monday Confessions, 5 things I am liking

It’s the middle of winter, which for many of us can leave us feeling blue or at least wishing for warmer days full of sunshine. Thankfully we had some sun here yesterday on the East Coast after a long rainy week last week! For today’s confessions, I thought I would just let you in on a few things I am currently liking!

1. Are you a Jane Austen fan? If so, you’ll definitely want to check out Sanditon on PBS on Sunday nights. It was her last unfinished novel that has been turned into a great mini-series. I am actually not sure if there will be more seasons but so far I am really enjoying this one. It has all the things that Jane Austen was known for like not only love, but duty and friendships and of course money!

2. I am also currently loving OPI nail polish in the color, Funny Bunny. It’s a perfect neutral winter white! I have been wearing it often! You can find it right on amazon if you aren’t near a store that sells OPI.

3. At the new year, there’s so much talk of resolutions and changes. This is the time of the year 6 weeks in, that so many of those are already forgotten or put to the wayside. What I have really enjoyed this year is the Rhythms of Renewal Book and Podcast. The subtitle of the book is “trading stress and anxiety for a life of peace and purpose..” Author Rebekah Lyons stress that we don’t need a ton of new resolutions, but in fact we really need life to fall into certain Rhythms to be able to find ourselves feeling better. There are 4 main categories of Rhythms that healthy habits can fit into: Rest, Restore, Connect and Create. Both her book and her podcast explore themes and topics on how to get to better overall health and leave behind the stress and anxiety! We all could use a little bit of that right?! My one caution is don’t feel like you have to change everything at once, just choose one area to work on and they even have an assessment to see which rhythm is your strength!

4. Cheer on Netflix is another show I really just enjoyed! Have you heard of it? A small Texas community college rules the roost when it comes to collegiate cheer leading and this show chronicles a season of their lives as they head to the national title stage. You fall right into wanting to know more about the students and their stories that brought them to Navarro College. Monica is the gritty, no- nonsense coach that also leaves you wanting to maybe be her friend or at least envy how she keeps it all together under stress! It’s just a 6 episode season, so if you like a good human interest story, this is a good one! If you don’t want to just adopt Jerry by the last episode, I don’t know if we can be friends :)

5. This is not on anyone’s health wagon after everything else I have said, but Dunkin Donuts has Girl Scout cookie flavored coffees again this year! I truly can’t tell you how delicious the Coconut Caramel flavor is, think Samoa Girl Scout cookie flavor stirred into a delicious hot cup of coffee! I love it and I actually like seasonal flavors, it helps you to have things to look forward to. You can get it in both regular coffee or latte, I recommend you trying one for sure!

I hope these few things I am loving bring some ideas to your President’s day because maybe you need a coffee suggestion or a good show to get into! Happy Monday my friends!

Monday Confessions, Recent Reads

Good morning, how was your weekend? The rainy Saturday morning was actually nice for me, I was able to finish up a couple things I was reading in between feeding children and refereeing screen time and sibling disagreements. My Instagram break in January kept me from sharing some books I’ve read on my feed but that’s a fantastic reason to share a post here on the blog today! In the winter, I love being cozy under a blanket with a hot drink and a good book. I also think that this collection of books has such a HUGE range of variety, there’s something for everyone. I don’t discriminate from memoirs, biographies, fiction and religious writing…I love it all! You’ll have to let me know if you decide to read one of these and how you like or don’t like it!

1. The Bible, I am reading along with the Bible Recap plan, which has been great. The sections are broken into a daily reading of 2-3 chapters and then accompanied by a short podcast that helps fill in details on what you read. I really enjoy Tara Leigh Cobble and the awesome news is that you can start at any time and get in on the plan! My goal is to make it through the entire bible by the end of 2020. I have had this goal before and I confess, have never made it in a consecutive 12 months. I realized that this is the most important reading I could possibly do, so why delay?!

   Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t read the whole Bible yet this year. We have only made it through Genesis and Job. Let me tell you though, if you think the bible is a boring book, you obviously have never read it through! These two books of the bible read more like soap operas and dystopias than boring religious texts!

(Not my own image)

2. The Dutch House by Ann Patchett which is a fiction read, based just out side of Philadelphia and spans decades of time after WWII. The Dutch House is a central character in the book, it’s “a lavish estate in the suburbs outside of Philadelphia. Meant as a surprise for his wife, the house sets in motion the undoing of everyone he loves.” I really enjoyed this book because it explores so much of how childhood and a sense of home forever shape us, even late into adulthood. It explores relationships and how they too, give us a sense of home. The main characters throughout are siblings, Maeve and Danny, who share their story over the decades. Definitely recommend if you are in for a good fiction story to get lost in.

3. The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan: I enjoy her writing style and again, that local Philadelphia perspective allows me to understand her stories from her youth, even though they preceded my existence. In this non-fiction memoir, it’s a poignant mix of her stories from youth and finding out that she and her beloved Dad simultaneously are fighting cancer on opposite coasts. It’s both heavy and light-hearted, the way much of life unfolds as we face struggles. If you are in the mood for a memoir, I liked this one. I think it’s also helpful perspective if you have a friend facing fighting breast cancer, she shares lots of insight.

4. Troublemaker by Leah Remini: This might seem like a total left field option from my usual but I have to admit that I was fascinated by her life story and mainly how she got into Scientology. She reveals so much about the “religion” that just seems flat out crazy. Crazy is the word that just kept coming to mind as I was reading! Scientology has strategically been kept under wraps for so long, which makes this a rare look into the life of the cult members. I enjoyed this biography even more than I thought I might, although I admittedly skimmed certain parts that sounded like another language ( some of the Scientology talk that sounded more like science fiction than real life). Scientology was created by L. Ron Hubbard and if you read about him for only about 5 minutes, you can tell that there’s nothing about this man that you want to base your own life or fate on. I found the descriptions of Scientology both ludicrous and fascinating all at the same time! It did drive home the point for me though that people are seeking truth in life and they can find very skewed versions of truth that they’re willing to sacrifice their lives for.

I also am curious that if she reads her own audio book, it might be an awesome option just to listen to. i could truly her her voice and personality in the writing!

6. Whiskey in a Teacup by Reese Witherspoon: I adore Reese Witherspoon from so many of her movies as well as her recent Netflix Series Shine On, featuring women in different roles in culture. She just seems like the real deal and this book was both biography and cook book! I have not yet tried any of her recipes, but I plan on. I read it in an afternoon because it’s a beautiful blend of images and text. She shares on everything from throwing a party with southern hospitality to the correct way to use hot rollers to set your hair! Fantastic, right? This book just reinforced my adoration for her!

7. Pioneer Woman Cooks by Ree Drummond: This is actually her first cookbook from years ago, which also blends her stories in with her food. I love her as a person and haven’t made one of her recipes yet that I didn't like. I actually picked this book up on Christmas clearance because it was super inexpensive and I have a few other books of hers I enjoy. It was actually fun to look back over her earlier photography and stories from the race the preceded her Food Network cooking show, which I am also a fan of. I like reading cook books because they inspire me to cook more, to try new things and to remember that meal literally nourish our bodies and souls!

8. Steal Away Home by Matt Carter & Aaron Ivey: If you have read this blog for any amount of time, you know I like the Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey podcast. Her husband wrote a book a couple years back and it has long been on my “to read” list, so I was excited when I got it for Christmas! It’s a historical fiction, weaving together the life stories of Charles Spurgeon and Thomas Johnson. Charles Spurgeon grew up to be a prolific English preacher and writer, who still impacts the faith of so many today. Thomas Johnson is a lesser known person, but a fascinating story as he was born a slave on a Virginia plantation. His unlikely story of becoming a Christian and eventually a freed slave after the civil war, led him to the pastor’s college under Spurgeon’s teaching. It’s really well written and as historically accurate as possible, which I found enjoyable. I liked getting to read about the daily life of such a well known historical figure, as well as the eye witness accounts from Thomas Johnson in civil war era Virginia. This book was a little ride through the 1800’s in both the United States and England. I definitely recommend this one!

Monday Confessions, Blue Monday

It’s Blue Monday, have you ever heard the term? Usually the third Monday of January, Blue Monday tends to me the most depressing Monday of the year. The science behind it is a little weak but it’s there, none the less, because the holidays are over, the winter is bleak, resolutions might be fading and a lot of us are facing holiday related debts. So what are we to do with all this? I’m not exactly sure?! 

I know that I’m trying to be in healthy rhythms to fight those winter blues. Things like exercise and connecting with others help to fight those winter blues. If you couldn’t tell by my end of the year post, I needed a change in pace. The pace I had through the fall and holiday season was really hard to keep up. I’m trying to look at January as a natural slowing of things. Did you know that our bodies naturally do need more sleep in winter and are affected by the shorter hours of daylight?! I often feel like I want to go to bed at 7pm. Ha. But seriously, it’s ok if you are feeling a bit like hibernating. Our world goes through seasons on purpose and it’s natural that our bodies will too!

Part of my pace change was taking Instagram off my phone at the new year. I have been a few weeks without it and it’s certainly helping to clear some head space. Now, I confess, I still have spent some time on facebook due to business and other groups I run, but the overall way less time on social media has helped me the last few weeks. I have read more books and also learned that the input I allow into my mind and heart, certainly have an overall effect on the output of my brain and heart. I will be coming back on Instagram in the weeks to come with some fresh book reviews and ideas, but I’m currently still enjoying the break.

So here’s to more time outside in fresh air and sunshine this week! Here’s to more time reading books instead of scrolling Instagram feeds! Here’s to more time being kind to our bodies than punishing them! Have a beautiful week my friends!

A family hike through our state forest a couple weekends ago was the perfect soul pick-me-up!

Monday Confessions, When You Feel Like You're Not Enough

I read a “funny” meme recently that really did make me laugh, but it was because of the underlying truth of being a mother in 2019. The only thing is, it really wasn’t that funny because it held so much truth! Here it is…

I even feel like they actually left off a few things like be thin and fit, as well as decorating and keeping a Pinterest worthy styled home. Make sure your car is clean and “you don’t let them see you sweat.” Make sure you have “me time” and “date night” and everything else under the sun. Make sure your kids have magical holidays and clean clothes and dinners that cover all the food groups….we could play this game all day!

This is an exhausting list of expectations right? I have four kids, which is exponentially harder some days. I am spanning age ranges from 10 down to 4, so I have to have discussions about appropriate internet usages with some while still praying the youngest will make it to the potty on time. I have kids in 3 different schools and on a week like this week with a holiday, you better believe the reminders on my phone are set for all different things from where I have to bring lemonade, to who has the field trip, and when they can wear the costume to school! It’s both mentally and physically exhausting, am I right? You add in any kind of career or work on top of all this and you have the potential to feel defeated before your feet hit the floor.

I have some hope though, if you’re feeling like you’re not enough today, because you ARE enough. Your value doesn’t lie in what you do or even the kids you raise, it lies in WHO you are. You are a precious, God-created person who has value just in being. There is even more hope for the believer in Jesus. Our church is going through daily bible devotionals written by all different church members, old, young and in between. Today’s verse was, “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises…” You can full stop on that verse. You have been CHOSEN and given everything you need for a godly life, through Jesus. God also gives us great and precious promises! What a great reminder as we start another week, tempted to feel like we are not enough or not doing enough. You ARE ENOUGH!

(I am coming off a very full and tiring weekend, so forgive any run on sentences or incorrect grammar this morning!)

Monday Confessions, September Favorite Things

As I write this, the sun has not yet come up on this September morning. We are starting our third full week back into the school season and so far, so good! I thought that I would just share a few recent favorite things with you as today’s confessions!

1. Pumpkin Cream Cold brew at Starbucks. Have you tried this yet? It’s great because it’s the pumpkin flavor without the overwhelming spice and it’s also icy, which is nice because it’s still going to be about 90 degrees today here in DE.

2. Yellowstone TV Show with Kevin Costner: We are hooked on this show! It’s a story of a Montana ranch owner and quite a few dysfunctional family members and ranch hands. The setting is gorgeous and the drama is over the top but it makes for a great show, along with a great sound track!

3. Whiskey Myers Music: This one comes right from the Yellowstone show, because the bland played an epidote in bar scene and now I can’t stop listening on Spotify! If you love southern rock, this is a great listen for you.

4. OPI Funny Bunny nail color: This white nail color is the perfect every day neutral before we get into the darker and deeper colors of fall.

5. Inexpensive & awesome sunglasses at Amazon: These have been a favorite for the second half of the summer with the mirrored lenses and light weight frames. I do have more expensive pairs of polarized sunglasses for days at the beach and long days outside, but these are perfect for just running around!

I hope you have a great week ahead and that September is treating you well!

Monday Confessions, A Photographer's Perspective

I started back to teaching today at the community college and know many other schools start today as well. I know it’s Tuesday, but feels like Monday after the holiday weekend. I told a family member this week that we are limping into fall…one kid is literally limping with a sprained ankle and the rest of us figuratively are limping with exhaustion. It’s a different kind of tired because summer has had no sort of routine. It has been a full summer both in life and business.

Saturday morning I was sipping coffee from my “blessed” Rae Dunn mug and it hit me as I scanned the photo galleries I shot this summer. These are truly people’s lives we get to capture. I realized that this sounds a bit trite, but it’s true nonetheless. I looked at the four marriages we witnessed, the students heading into their senior year, the families who welcomed new babies, families with multiple generations finally together in one spot, or the other special milestones like communion and moving on ceremonies. I even photographed one presidential candidate alongside the sweet older man who mentored him in politics, and who we have since lost to heaven. When a family sends a note saying, “these photos are worth more to us than any money,” it’s a reminder to me of the value of what I do.

I have captured all these things and more this summer, along with raising four kids and one growing puppy. This all might explain my tiredness, but it aligns with my desire to pause time. In a way, photographers get this privilege, to actually pause time in frames. We get to create physical reminders of people and moments. This is a gift I don’t want to take lightly as I head into a new season!

What a better symbol for a new season than a butterfly? Over the last few weeks I have seen quite a few gorgeous butterflies while I have been out on shoots. I hope you have a great week ahead!

Monday Confessions, on a Tuesday

Hey there internet friends! I am working hard on getting back into my Monday Confessions series. It’s a great place for me to keep up with all of you in between photography posts. I hope all of you find your summer off to a great start. We have hit the ground running with an out-of state wedding the first weekend the kids done school and then traveled to the shore for part of last week in between photo jobs.

I have to say that I am daily wrestling between the need to try to enjoy my kids and to get work done in this busy season. My kids keep saying their really annoying SpongeBob quote, “the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” I laugh because these confessions are basically sharing the “inner machinations of my mind!” SO there you go, Patrick and SpongeBob can be deep right?! (Insert kid humor because that’s where I am living these days!)

1. I am hooked on Annie F Downs Podcast That Sounds Fun, because it is the summer of the Enneagram. Have you heard of this personality typing yet? What number are you? I would love to hear from those of you also learning about the enneagram. I definitely recommend these episodes, which will take a “number” or personality type for each episode and break it down. It’s not only so helpful with learning your own heart, but also in relating to those around you. It can really help explain motivations and fears. Start here with Suzanne Stabile and her explanations in this episode!

2. I confess that in seasons when we are all too busy, we are grumpy. Does this happen to you too? May was truly an insane schedule for our family with little time off for anything and both the kids and grown ups were feeling down. How do you build in some rest or put guards on your schedule? I think it’s especially hard when you work for yourself (insert my personality type that thrives on trying to get things done.)

3. I confess that the older I get, the more I despise how other people drive. Is that weird? Can anyone relate? I have been watching so many aggressive driving behaviors lately on the roads and I am like “hello, can you not see me trying to safely drive my 4 children here?!”

4. We have been big on BLT sandwiches for dinners lately. It’s perfect for summer with the fresh tomatoes and an easy dinner that doesn’t heat up your whole kitchen (unless you fill your entire house with smoke like i did last time…burnt bacon smell, delicious!! Haha) Anyhow, I would like to share the game changer when I made the herb mayo from the Magnolia Cookbook . Here’s the recipe below from Magnolia Blog, enjoy!

   Creamy Herb Dressing

   ingredients
   1 cup mayonnaise (or 1 cup plain greek yogurt)
   1 cup chopped fresh basil leaves
   1 cup chopped fresh chives or green onion
   1 tbsp fresh flat-leafed parsley
   1 tbsp fresh chopped tarragon
   1 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (2 lemons)
   2 cloves chopped garlic
   1 tsp ground black pepper

   1 tsp salt
   1 cup sour cream

   instructions
   In a food processor or blender, combine all ingredients (except the sour cream) until smooth. Add sour cream and process until blended. If not using immediately, refrigerate the dressing until ready to serve. Store in refrigerator up to 3 days. (This dressing can be made the day before. Just cover and chill.) Yields: 2 cups

5. I met Robin Roberts briefly at the Phillies Game last Wednesday! How fun is it to meet someone in person who shows up every morning on your tv screen? I have admired how she has handled a lot of things, including sickness, publicly.

Monday Confessions, Early Spring Musings on church

“April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain.” ~ T.S. Eliot

Yesterday morning, after hustling to try to get 6 people out of the house and drive the twenty minutes to church, it started to rain. Matt dropped us curbside and as I struggled to open the umbrella with one hand and hold my coffee and bible with the other…I was suddenly wearing the coffee. I started to laugh so that I didn’t cry. By the time we got inside, I lamented to the kids “how are we still ten minutes late?” I was in all my coffee and dry-shampoo-wearing-glory wondering just why is church such an effort. Is it worth it?

It became clear though on the way home, when two of our big kids that had joined us in the adult service were able to give back to us the three main points of the sermon from Luke 6. When our kids said back to us that a true believer in Christ is “fruitful, truthful and faithful,” I felt much better about the shenanigans we endured to get ourselves there. I remember someone saying once that we might not remember every meal that our mom served us through our childhood, but we know we were nourished. We are supposed to look at church attendance in that light, that we might not remember every sermon or point but we are spiritually fed. So as parents, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up'“ (Galatians 6: 9).

So, even if the early spring rain is falling or the coffee is spilling, we are doing the important work as parents. We are investing in our kids spiritually and that takes the long view. I am so thankful that we have our faith to guide us in this parenting gig.

Here are some spring scenes from around our yard yesterday. We are loving all the animals to watch around our new home!

Monday Confessions, Recent Reads Fiction

Hello blog friends! I hope this chilly first Monday of March finds you well. I had some requests last week to do an updated book recommendation post on here and you can follow my hashtag on Instagram that is #emilytroutmanreads to get updates when I post shorter comments on books. It honestly helps me keep track of what I read and helps when I get asked for recommendations! This post will strictly be fiction and I will try again soon with non-fiction (I promise there’s lots of great non-fiction out there)

Some of you might remember I had a dream trip to Paris last fall with my parents. Part of my book-loving self could not wait to check out Shakespeare and Company book store, right along the Siene river, across from Notre Dame Cathedral. Shakespeare and Company is a famous book store that hosted the likes of Ernest Hemingway, among other well know writers who lived in Paris. It’s just a neat experience to walk into places like that, which have birthed inspiration for so many. I thought I would share a few shots from my Shakespeare visit along with this book post! I bought and read The Paris Wife in Paris. It’s about Ernest Hemingway’s first wife Hadley (more thoughts on this book below)!

“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in the darkness, the astonishing light of your own making.” My mom’s feet are at the top, making it even better for me. She’s a librarian now and leaves a legacy of a love of reading!

1. The Paris Wife by Paula McLain - I adored reading this book in Paris and in general, I enjoy historical fiction. I was seeing some of the places and spaces that she was writing about. I was also understanding the magic and appeal of a life in Paris for the young couple. This is a fictionalized version but I am pretty sure it’s close to truth. It was easy and enjoyable to read until later in the saga, when Ernest starts to stray. It then becomes difficult to root for him as a man…but I would say a good follow up read to this was Ernest Hemingway’s A Moveable Feast. It’s his own take on some of these early days in Paris with Hadley. Order here if you want your own copy to arrive from Paris :)

2. Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan was a delightful fiction read and also had some Parisian scenes that I appreciated. I took this photo of the book though literally minutes before I got into an accident at my kids school and NO it wasn’t my fault and NO I wasn’t reading at the time…I digress, back to the book review….I loved this read because it shed some light onto Asian culture that is not as main stream as one might think. My husband works at a prestigious boarding school and it gave me a giggle because in some ways it really shed light on what some of the Asian students deal with in their families and with their parents. Some things are based on stereotypes but also most stereotypes are based in some type of truth. I definitely recommend reading this book for the great writing and then rent the movie, which is just as enjoyable!

3. Marilla of Green Gables by Sarah McCoy - If you grew up loving the Anne of Green Gables series, this is a great read for you. It’s like finally getting the back story on Green Gables and what it was like growing up there or why Marilla and Matthew are single siblings living there until adulthood. I admit, I realized I knew scant amounts of Canadian history before reading this and I had to look up some little nuggets of info to help shed light on the story. It wasn’t an overwhelming amount of historical details but I did want to make sense of the times. I really liked this read but some people that are purists to the original series might not like someone adding to it (which is kind of how I feel with the second season of Anne with an E on Netflix. Not my favorite.)

4. Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens - I also really enjoyed this fictionalized story of the North Carolina marshlands. It weaves together a modern crime being solved while flashing back to the beginning of the story. It was thankfully so well written that the time hoping did not confuse me (sometimes I can’t track with books that jump around in time). It’s the story of Kya, growing up in the marsh land and often alone. It was tender and hard to read at times, but it also just made you cheer for the main character to persevere. It has a fantastic ending in my option and it’s just a great read that takes you to another time and place! I found it recommended on Reese’s Hello Sunshine book club.

5. The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon - This was an interesting coming of age story set in New York City with two main characters from completely different backgrounds. I really enjoyed this young adult read for the most part. It was a quick read and an interesting ending. I think it drives home the idea of some people being in your life for a reason, even if only for a brief time and I am not spoiling anything - there are many examples of this in the book. I have to say though, of all the other books I review here, this one probably goes as my least favorite, as in, read the other books first! (If you liked Park & Eleanor a few years ago, you might like this one :)

Winter Engagements, Spring and Summer Weddings!

Did you or a friend get engaged over this winter season? If so, I would love to chat with you about your wedding day photography plans. I am still booking select 2019 dates, email for availability and pricing, emily@emilytroutmanphoto.com

Emily Troutman Photography, 2017

Monday Confessions, Recipe Round up

This winter has had me inside cooking a ton. It has led me to some great recipes so I thought I would share a few hits here on the blog today. I have even crowd sourced recipes on Facebook and dinner ideas, so I thought I might share some too. I also am starting a bit of an eating change (let’s not call it a diet) for a bit to see if I can get my body to change and feel better. Many of you that have followed me know that I have wrestled with sleep issues for quite some time, so I’m hoping it might help with that as well. None of these are necessarily diet friendly but they are all family friendly!

Super easy Tortellini Soup: Delicious, easy and budget friendly ingredients, especially at Aldi.

Shauna Niequist’s Berry Crisp: This is delicious and clean eating if you’re on a plan. Can be a great breakfast with greek yogurt or a nice light dessert.

Ayesha Curry’s One Hour Bread: Bread intimidates me, yet this one was simple and delicious. It was actually simple enough that my 9-yr old daughter helped me make it!

Pioneer Woman’s Chicken Pot Pie: This is a yummy dinner crowd pleaser and even easier with left over rotisserie chicken and pre-made pie shells. It feels like you worked for hours for this hearty dinner but it’s easy as can be.

Paula Deen’s Shepherd’s Pie: This has been a winter favorite of our family for years. It’s especially easy when you have any left over mashed potatoes from another meal or ground beef you need to cook up.

Pot Roast Hand Pies: These are my 9yr old son’s absolute favorite. They’re meant to use up left over roast beef but I actually made them last week with left over taco meat and made it more like a little cheese burger. Again, if you have pre-made pie shells in the fridge, these are a breeze and kids like to help cut out the dough circles for each hand pie. I serve with a veggie on the side and wa-la!

Joanna Gaines Chocolate Chip Cookies; Self explanatory deliciousness! No diets here :)

Here’s to having a great week and let me know if you decide to try any of the recipes I shared!

Monday Confessions, 5 things to stop doing in order to produce more Joy!

I don’t know about you friends, but January usually finds me trying to slow down and take stock a bit about what’s important. It’s sometimes a forced change in pace. The winter weather keeps us in, the hustle of the holidays are over and things are just generally slower for me in business. I need this “reset” so badly but I also find myself resisting it. So, instead of resolutions of things I need to start, I’ve actually been thinking about some things that I know I need to stop doing in order to allow for more joy in my days!

Listen friends, I am taking this advice as much as I am giving it. I’ve been wrestling with chronic stress and insomnia (see also “Mommy Burnout” by Dr. Sheryl Ziegler) so these are things I need to stop as much as anyone to gain fresh joy and perspective in my life, as well as my health.

If you resonate with this blog post, I highly recommend both of these books! I enjoy both of their different writing styles but mostly their messages. They also both have excellent Instagram accounts (for when you’re not avoiding the internet :)

1. Stop over scheduling: This seems self explanatory but we all need to take a good look at our schedules, especially as we head into spring and a new season. Don’t try to jam in too many things for yourself or your family. Kids need margin too. They need free play and even, boredom. I know how much it causes me to get frazzled when I am rushing everyone around and nothing puts disappointment on a kids face like telling him he has to rush off somewhere instead of getting to play outside with friends/siblings.

“Busyness is a byproduct of our culture. It is the sacrifice we make for our religion of more, for our perfectionist tendencies, for our temptation to over schedule, over inform, overprovide.” - Erin Loechner, Chasing Slow

2. Stop Comparing: We all know the saying that “comparison is the thief of joy” and yet so many of us live constantly trying to see how we measure up. I think this affects each of us differently, but it can be everything from body image, to clothing style to our home or kids…It is any area of life that we find ourselves comparing and lacking. Don’t do this to yourself. If you find yourself comparing, take a step back and ask yourself why?

“There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” -G. K. Chesterton

3. Stop wasting too much time on internet: See above about the comparing issue….so much of this springs from our internet culture. We don’t all need to know what the housewife in Wisconsin is baking or decorating or wearing today. It’s not that all these things are bad things, but it’s just that it takes up time and mental space that you could devote to other things in your days. Set a timer if you need to or remove apps from your phone. A big help is turning off notifications so that you aren’t getting dinged constantly and beckoned to come look at your phone. I promise more days with less internet will bring your heart joy.

“Deep breath. Are we all inhaling intoxicating Pinterest fumes? An oxygenated reality? And if so, can we call it true inspiration? The definition of inspiration is the drawing of breath, an inhalation, a gasp. A filling-up that offers an abundance of energy for your day, for the task, for that project, for this life.”

- Erin Loechner, Chasing Slow

4. Stop acting like you don’t have power to change: I heard a podcast the other day talking about maintaining a family’s schedule and the interviewer said, “it feels more like the family schedule controls me than I control it.” I do understand this feeling for sure, but a question arose while I listened. Are we not in control of what we choose to fill our lives with? We truly do have the power to change things if they aren’t working for our lives or families. If nothing else, America is certainly the land of choice. We have options about schools, jobs, foods, etc. We can change things that aren’t working. Does that mean it’s easy? No, it most likely won’t be easy. I can revisit a lot of feelings from early last year when we contemplated moving…it was by FAR not easy and 2018 was the year that tried to kill me, but now sitting on the other side of that journey in our new home, I can see it was worth the huge change. This idea of the power to change can apply to all kinds of habits, from our health to our housework, so don’t be afraid and start small! One small change can lead to big differences over time.

5. Stop with the frantic: I know all these suggestions here are like a spiderweb that all connects at this point, which they do. This frantic part though, it’s not just a pace but the frantic part is a mind set. Frantic has you thinking, “when your mind has to work seven steps ahead instead of just being where you are, because this deadline’s coming, and the laundry has to get done before that trip, because you can’t forget to pack snowpants for school, and you need to beg for more time on this project. Again…Good things like efficiency and multi-tasking go off the rails so far that sometimes I find myself running in my own house, shuttling things from room to room like my life is a timed obstacle course. This is insane.” (excerpt from Shauna Niequist, Stop Hustling and Get Your Life Back).

I find myself getting like this all the time, worrying about everything from big decisions like education all the way down to what is for dinner. It’s not like we can escape a lot of these parts of life, but we can make room for more slow time and quiet. It’s the opposite of what culture teaches us constantly, which is to dominate, to hustle, and to succeed at all costs. Sometimes “success” needs to just being to slow down and play with our preschooler on the floor. Our souls need a lot more of that type of interaction than the constant hustle. As I am exploring my serious need for rest and a change of pace, this is not only a preference issue but an absolute necessity for me. I need to change out of the frantic if I am going to find health again.

I hope you hear my heart on this Monday morning, we are in it tougher. What are some things you need to STOP doing in order to create more joy in your days?

Monday Confessions, MLK Jr.

Life has brought us to mid-January and a day to reflect on Martin Luther King, Jr’s life and words. It’s interesting how his words always seem timely, no matter the situation. When a life is lived with character and dignity like his was, it has a much more last impact than so many of the flash-in-the-pan type people we see rise to notoriety today. I know that I have reflected on this before but years ago I went to the civil rights museum in Memphis, TN (the site of the former Lorraine Motel when MLK Jr was shot). Visiting there was such a powerful experience and will stay with me. It made me examine my own heart and think of all the ways I can tend to think about people just because we are different. I think also as a young white female in America, it made me face some truths I didn’t like.

I confess, I had never read MLK Jr.’s speech on Washington in it’s entirety until this morning (or if I had, I had forgotten, or quite possibly in the naiveté of my youth, I didn’t understand it’s profoundness.) So many of his urges for change are still quite relevant and necessary in 2019. It had me thinking also of the current work of Bryan Stevenson, lawyer, advocate and author of Just Mercy. As I had the privilege of sitting in a room to hear Stevenson speak last year, it was not only powerful but personal. He urged us all in the room to get proximate to these issues, issues that make so many of uncomfortable or issues we tend to just try to ignore. Proximity to real struggles forces us to deal with them. We can no longer claim ignorance to the injustices going on around us. If you haven’t yet read his book, run don’t walk to the library or to Amazon to get it. EVERY American should be reading this book, in my opinion.

So what can you do today in honor of MLK, Jr? Ask yourself, was there a time when I didn’t speak up and should have? Are there ways I have allowed thoughts or feelings based not on truth of us all being God’s children, but allowed thoughts of prejudice? What are ways I can move towards others who are different than me? How can we contribute to the movement towards a more equitable America for all?

“‘I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up, live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.